Every time a 20-something friend loses a job or has a break-up or is displaying the initial symptoms of a quarter-life crisis, we point them in the direction of Meg Jay's TED Talk, Why 30 is not the new 20.
Given by clinical psychologist Meg, it's 15 minutes of an explanation as to why we can't just use our 20s to fuck around with. We need to get out of loser relationships, making sure we get that job (or starting doing things to improve our changes of getting that job) and stop waiting around for life to happen. Life is a bit like a tactical warfare game, she says, and if you spend your time dilly dallying over whether you buy an XBox or not, then you can hardly get involved.
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We basically look to her talk as a guiding light, a more intricate, nuanced version of that 'YOLO' nonsense that Zac Efron got tattooed to his hand.
But that was until today as Keira Knightley has totally confounded what Meg says. Not in an intentional way, but by explaining that her life totally did start at 30, as that's the first time she felt truly relaxed, after being such an uptight teen: 'After 25, things just got better and better. Because, honestly, my early twenties were not much fun. Actually, I feel less grown-up as I go along. reached my peak of grown-up behaviour at 20 and 21, and it’s been downhill since then.'
The actress is now 29, and she says that her less sincere outlook has benefitted everyone around her. 'I was terribly sensible as a teenager but I’ve got far less so as I’ve grown up, which has been a huge relief for everyone – including my parents,' OK! reports her as saying.
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Still, Keira's ideas don't entirely conflict with Meg's. Meg's point about 30 not being the new 20 is all tied up in the ideas that you can't just use your twenties as a time to fuck about doing things that aren't good for you, your relationships or your career then expect your life to magically fall into place aged 30. And Keira is also preaching on a no-nonsense, pro-happiness tip: 'Maybe you stop caring as much about where you should be going and what other people think – which is all the shit that makes you very unhappy early on.'
Oh, and as for relationships, Keira had this terribly cute thing to say about her husband, Klaxons musician James Righton: 'You only get to choose one member of your family and I made a good choice. So well done, me! Being married feels pretty good.'
Aw! And just like Keira and James are happily couples, we can so happily couple the idea that you've got to take your 20s seriously (Meg Jay's advice) with the idea that you don't need to care what other people think of your progress throughout this pretty odd and stressful decade (Keira's advice). OK, life lessons over for today.
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Picture: Getty
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.