Liz Hurley has yawned off rumours that her and ex-US President Bill Clinton had an affair. She tweeted: 'Ludicrously silly stories about me & Bill Clinton. Totally untrue. In the hands of my lawyers. Yawn.' And, um, Tom Sizemore, the ex of hers who made up the rumours, has admitted to, um, doing just that.
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We say it's a shame. Here are a few reasons why we would have loved it to have been true.
** 1. It'd make a really good song lyric somewhere down the line. **
Beyoncé's Partition has an incredible lyric, relating to the allegation – is it even an allegation anymore? Or is it pretty much cast-iron truth? Well, regardless, it's gone down (sorry) in the pop culture canon as something that basically did happen – that there was evidence of Bill's affair with White House aide Monica Lewinsky in the form of a stain on her dress. 'He Monica Lewinsky'd all on my gown,' goes Beyoncé's lyric. Now, we're not capable of the same sorts of verbal contortion as B, but we bet anything about Hugh Grant's ex who wore that safety-pin dress copping off with the then-most powerful man in the world would be a doozy.
2. It might have proved that Tom Sizemore isn't as troubled as he is
The guy who's admitted to spreading the Bill/Liz rumour in the first place is Tom Sizemore, an actor who Liz used to date. You might recognise him from* Black Hawk Down*, Saving Private Ryan, or all those stories about how he beat up his ex-girlfriend, Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss. He's been out of the public eye for the past few years, resurfacing to talk about his battle with crystal meth addiction every now and then, or appear on Celebrity Rehab. Last month, a video emerged of him allegedly smoking the drug. Now, we're not saying that all crystal meth-heads are liars, or that sober people are honest, but it's sort of proven just how messed up he is that he feels he needs to make up such a ludicrous rumour. In his words: 'They were the rantings of a drug-addicted actor.'
** 3. The details are hilarious**
He might have been ranting, but props to Tom Sizemore for making up the sort of memorable lines that wouldn't feel out of place in an Austin Powers film (yes, that is the last good film Liz Hurley's been in). Tom alleged to RadarOnline that, once he gave Bill the number of his former girlfriend at a White House screening of Saving Private Ryan, the President called the plummy Brit, saying: 'Elizabeth, this is your Commander-in-Chief. Listen Elizabeth, this is the President. I don’t have any time for this shit. I‘m keeping the world from nuclear war all the time. I’m sending a plane to pick you up.' And, according to Tom's story, they continued the affair for a year before Clinton broke it off because he was falling for Liz. We love that Liz, the actress who was OK-ish in* EdTV,* could have had the leader of the free world wrapped around her little finger. In Tom's imagination, at least.
Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophwilkinson
Pictures: Getty, Rex
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.