Allegations of sexual misconduct against R Kelly have mounted considerably over the last decade. Reports claimed that the 51-year-old had been holding a group of young women hostage and a BBC Three documentary earlier this year featured interviews with former girlfriends who detailed the abuse they apparently underwent while with him.
Despite numerous allegations and the #MuteRKelly campaign eventually catching a brief wind on social media, it's only recently that victims' voices and mainstream conversation have managed to penetrate the silence that long surrounded R Kelly's alleged behaviour. Representatives have repeatedly denied claims against the singer, however he's now taken it upon himself to directly respond to the controversies, including the alleged pedophilia, Spotify removing his music from it's playlists and running an apparent 'sex cult' with one, new song - called 'I Admit'.
The 19-minute track was uploaded to the artist's Soundcloud account on Monday and, contrary to it's name, the song doesn't quite serve as a confession but rather a defence against a history of claims. That said, due to the nature of the song, the context of its release and well, the many, many accusations that he addresses within it, we're wondering whether a legal representative was consulted before the surprise release and if something like this would (or should) stand up in court if it ever escalated that far.
Granted, we'd assume that the legal advice would be not to conflate years of complicated, troubling allegations in a conflictingly titled, lengthly musical dismissal of those who have accused you; but R Kelly does reference his '23 lawyers and 3 or 4 managers' in the song, so it seems there's only so much that we'll ever know about the matters at hand.
I Admit opens with R Kelly coming clean about a couple of things. 'I admit I done made some mistakes, and I have some imperfect ways ... I admit that I dropped out of school, I admit that I wasn't that cool', he sings. ''...I did fuck with a couple of fans, I admit I'm a gift and a curse, I admit that I don't go to church, I admit it I did it...'
R Kelly goes on to sing about doing some things he shouldn't have done, i.e. sleeping with someones girlfriend, sleeping with is girlfriend's best friend and sleeping with some of his fans. 'I admit I'm a gift and a curse', he adds. 'I admit I got so many flaws, told so many lies to these broads'. He admits to being sexually abused as a child, he admits to making mistakes but of the allegations that have made headlines over the last year or so, R Kelly continues to categorically deny them. Here's what we picked up from the lyrics:
On responding to allegations
'My lawyers told me settle this, even though it's bullshit. Kelly protect your career, all these people in my ear'.
'Got 23 lawyers, 3 or 4 managers, what am I doing? / Show me the way / The only thing I have left is my voice, and now I have to use it for my protection / Because they left me no choice'
'You may have your opinions, entitled to your opinions/But really am I supposed to go to jail or lose my career because of your opinion?'
On his treatment of women
'How they gon' say I don't respect these women, when all I've done is represent / Take my career and turn it upside down, 'cause you mad I've got some girlfriends'
'I admit I fuck with all the ladies, that's both older and young ladies / But tell me how they call it pedophile because that shit is crazy'
On the alleged sex cult
'Said I'm abusing these women what the fuck that's absurd. / 'They're brainwashed, really? Kidnapped, really? Can't eat, really? Real talk, that shit sound silly'
'Her father dropped her off at my show / And told this boy to put her on the stage / I admit that she was over age / I admit that I was feelin' her and I admit that she was feelin' me / I admit that that's just some shit that come with being a celebrity'
'What's the definition of a cult? / Whats the definition of a sex slave? / Go to the dictionary, look it up / Let me know, I'll be here waitin'
'But I admit there are times when these girls so fine, they'll chill with a n***a for a week'
On his family
Hell with this record deal, it ain't worth this shit for real / Ain't seen my kids in years, they tryna lock me up like Bill'
Robert, Jay, and Joanne, my kids / What you hearin' out here about dad, guys I'm sorry for this / I'm so sorry, I can't imagine what y'all must be goin' through / Every day it's somethin' about me, my god, it must be killin' you'
On the Buzzfeed investigation
'To Jim DeRogatis, whatever your name is / You been tryna destroy me for 25 whole years / Writin' the same stories over and over against / Off my name, you done went and made yourself a career / But guess what? I pray for you and family, and all my other enemies / I'm not gonna let y'all steal my joy, I'm just gon' keep on doin' me'
On the #MuteRKelly campaign
'Yeah, go ahead and stone me, point your finger at me. Turn the world against me, but only god can mute me'
'Now I don't know what else to say except, I'm so falsely accused / Tell me how can you judge when you've never walked in my shoes / So easy to mess up someone else's life / Through social media, the devil in disguise'