Questions We’re Asking About That Photo Of Kate Middleton’s Bum

But no, sorry, we're not going to publish the photos...


by Sophie Wilkinson |
Published on

In a new breach of the Duchess of Cambridge’s privacy, a photo of her bum has been published by German magazine Bild. The photo appeared on the publication’s website next to Khloe and Kim Kardashian’s rears as part of a special on famous bums.* The difference between the photos though, is that Kate wasn’t posing and you can see her actual bum-skin, because it’s an upskirt taken as the wind was blowing her dress up.

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Here are some questions we’re asking about the photo.

** 1. Should we publish the photo on The Debrief? **

Definitely not. The image is set to get some people into lots of trouble. The last time Kate’s privacy was invaded like this, when French Closer magazine published photos of her sunbathing topless while on her honeymoon with Prince William, and another regional paper La Provence published photos of her in a swimsuit, two photographers were charged with invasion of privacy. Plus, the royals sued the publishers of both publications. We’ll happily steer clear of that sort of trouble, thanks. Plus, we trust that our readers have the power of Google at their fingertips.

**2. Was Kate wearing any pants? **

It either looks like Kate wasn’t wearing any knickers at all, or was adorning her bum in a pretty thin thong. You have to sort of wonder why a woman with so much money and access to designer clothes would wear something so uncomfortable as a thong (unless it was laundry day). But then again, it’s her choice, and when her public persona has to be so proper, who could blame her for fulfilling ‘business on top, party underneath’ mantra?

**3. How come we haven’t seen Prince William’s bits? **

Well, we have. There’s a picture posted on a website in 2008 which appears to show Prince William taking a wee on a fence at a polo match. The pictures appear to be taken by a Spanish publication. Ay carumba!

**4. How come we haven’t seen the Queen’s bits? **

Although there have been other previous Royal genital expositions done by various factions of the foreign press – Prince Charles’s willy as well as William’s, Kate Middleton’s boobs and Prince Harry just-about covering his never-to-be crown jewels as he partied in Las Vegas in 2013 – we’ve never seen the Queen’s bits. Why is that? Well, allegedly, the Queen wears weights in the bottom of her dresses so that they never blow up, no matter the weather.

**5. How does Kate get such a nice bum? **

The mind boggles. She’s never spoken publically about her bum, but that’s probably because she hasn’t really spoken about much at all in public.

**6. How did Kate get such an even tan? **

Well, now that it’s been made clear that even the sharpest of long-lens photographers aren’t allowed to take photos of her when she’s enjoying a private sunbathe, she probably gets various opportunities to sunbathe. Also she must have access to the best fake tanner ever. She must have Saint Tropez on literal tap.

**7. Why should she put up with this? **

Well, she shouldn’t really. As much as she's a public figure, she does enough shaking of hands and openings of various places for photographers to not need to access her bum. Plus, why photograph her bum when she's got such delectable hair? Seriously, though, it’s likely that more legal action will be launched and could perhaps give prying photographers the heave-ho.

*The piece was charmingly titled: ‘Danke für dieses arschgeile Wochenende!’ which, according to Google translate, means ‘Thank you for this ass horny weekend!’

Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophwilkinson

Picture: Getty

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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