Did they get the wrong island?
Kanye’s general disposition smacks of evil overlord, leaving us with no doubt the rapper picks his holidays in the same way that Bond villiains choose which country to invade – spinning their globe, covering their eyes and pointing. So chuffed was he to have landed upon something surrounded by water that we're guessing he forgot to check whether it was an island in the tropical sense rather than an Ireland of the cold, wet and windy sort. Bad luck, big guy. Not that we're knocking Ireland, we love the place. We just didn't think they would.
Have they run out of things to talk about?
Two cinema trips in one day doesn’t leave much time for talking. In fact, visiting the cinema is the date activity we save for those more awkward of meetings – the quiet guy, the one we barely know etc. Have Kim and Kanye spent so much time over the past year talking about that giant floral wall that they’ve hit a conversational dry patch? How else do you explain the twice-in-one day? No one needs to see Bad Neighbours that much.
Did they bring their wellies?
We only ask as the current temperature in Portaloise, Ireland (home to one of Ireland’s most notorious jails FYI), is hovering around highs of 15 degrees and it's raining. I mean, it’s Ireland. That’s kind of expected. But for LA dwellers not used to a precipitous climate, the happy couple might have found themselves inadequately prepared. Luckily, local outdoor store Tog 24 is situated a mere 28 minutes drive away and should be able to fulfil their rain-drenched needs in the form of waterproof jackets, woolly hats and umbrellas. They've even got a sale on.
Have they drunk all the champagne in the world?
According to reports, Kim and Kanye visited a local pub yesterday, where they pulled their own pints of Guinness. Although we've got no evidence on whether or not the two actually drank the carb-heavy drink, we're guessing the whole thing was actually a fact-finding mission to source a new alcoholic beverage for the rich and famous after their wedding guests drank enough champagne last week to cause a worldwide shortage. Hopefully, the happy couple can spread the word that the fizzy stuff is out and Guinness is in before Bey and Jay find out they drank their wine cellar dry.
Where’s North?
It’s not traditional to bring your child on the honeymoon or anything, but the Ballyhoura mountains, where Kim and Kanye have been hiking, seem to have unrivalled activities for families with small children. Kids can choose from visiting a donkey sanctuary, bird watching in a bog, ferret racing, and archery. Seems like a missed opportunity to leave her at home really, doesn't it?
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.