If there’s ever been a fictional character that we’d like to adopt as our honorary grandmother, it’s The Princess Diaries’ Clarisse, as played to regal perfection by the wonderful Julie Andrews. The Queen of Genovia may have a slightly steely exterior – and isn’t averse to tying her only grandchild to a chair with a Hermès scarf in the name of good manners – but she’s also the source of some very pertinent musings on life, love and dinner party etiquette. While we can’t all be heir to a small European sovereign state, we can certainly learn a lot from our favourite imaginary royal…
1. 'A Queen is never late. Everyone else is simply early'
Time to stop vaguely casting the blame on public transport and own your lateness - this is the ultimate excuse for your inability to arrive at social occasions on time.
2. Good posture is everything...
Forget 'power poses': next time you're shuffling around with hunched shoulders and a bowed head, stand up straight and channel Clarisse. 'We drop the shoulders, we think tall, we tuck under and we transfer the weight from one foot to the other.'
3. And the way you sit is just as important
According to our favourite fictional etiquette expert, one should 'tuck one ankle behind the other and places the hands gracefully on the knees.' It seems to work for Kate Middleton...
4. Carrying small change is not very regal
When going incognito with her granddaughter at San Francisco's Musée Mechanique, Clarisse shuts down Mia's suggestion that she might be carrying a spare quarter or three. As she puts it, 'it's not appropriate for royalty to jingle.' NB: this one is easier to pull off when you're actually royal, and don't have to dash to the office vending machine.
5. 'Goodbye, trolley people!' is an entirely legitimate farewell
Simple, yet effective. Potentially not one to try as you make your exit from a packed night bus at 4am clutching a box of fried chicken, though.
6. The ultimate diplomatic reply is 'polite but vague'
Certainly something to bear in mind next time you're put on the spot at work, asked to commit to a devastatingly expensive hen party or questioned by your housemate about you what you really think of their latest significant other.
7. Hermès is pronounced 'Err-mezz'
Definitely not 'her-meez,' like the courier service. As a bonus, the classic silk scarf can double up as a handy aid (or restraining device) to prevent slouching at the dinner table.
8. A perfectly executed royal wave is tougher than it looks
In fact, a misjudged salutation has the potential to become 'very exhausting after a while.' By waving gently, you acknowledge your public without risking repetitive strain injuries and, as the Queen explains, 'sort of say, "thank you for being here today."'
9. Don’t give up at the first sign of an obstacle
Or, to use Clarisse’s hyper-specific motoring metaphor, ‘Amelia, you wouldn’t stop driving your Mustang just because a couple of insects hit the windshield?’
10. A Queen does not need a male consort in order to be an excellent ruler
As Mia puts it to the people of Genovia, 'My grandmother has ruled without a man at her side for quite some time, and I think she rocks at it.' Queen Clarisse: problematic feminist icon? Discuss..
11. 'A princess never chases a chicken'
This one requires absolutely no explanation.
And a bonus life lesson from Joe the bodyguard...
12. 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent'
Yes, yes, it's famously an Eleanor Roosevelt quote, but we're willing to bet a Genovian pear tree that you first heard it from Mia's remarkably sage security officer. Words to live by.
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