Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding is a mere four months away, so how do you, the humble subject, gear up for the occasion? By re-visiting 2014’s ethically dubious reality show, I Wanna Marry Harry, in which 12 American women were duped into believing that they were participating in a Bachelor-style dating show with the Prince? By re-watching Suits in its entirety? Or, maybe, by casting your eyes over this pair of commemorative Harry and Meghan dolls, fashioned by Etsy seller HistoryWearz to mark the auspicious occasion?
Described by the seller as ‘a fun way to celebrate the upcoming wedding of the year,’ the 28-inch dolls are dressed for St George’s Chapel, Harry in gold military regalia that’s straight out of Disney’s Cinderella and Meghan in traditional bridal wear. For just £131.43 plus £41.35 shipping charges, these definitely not at all creepy effigies of the bride and groom-to-be could be the perfect addition to the royal wedding party that you’re definitely going to throw. And should you take offence to the colour of Harry’s outfit (rather than, say, his impressively Gallagher-esque bowl cut), you can upgrade his cream ensemble to one in a tasteful powder blue. Who needs a commemorative plate when you have... these?
I’ve tried looking away from the hypnotic gaze of Doll Harry and Doll Meghan, but the gravitational pull of those preternaturally huge (or, in Harry’s case, unfeasibly almond-shaped) eyes just keeps dragging me back in. Even when I close my own (comparatively tiny, non-almond) eyes, all I can see is their vacant stare, their perfectly arched brows, Harry’s luxuriant crop that recalls Shrek’s Lord Farquaad (though in Grazia social media editor Phoebe Parke’s particular view, the hair bears a striking resemblance to Harry Styles). I’m not sure I’ll ever sleep soundly again. Cheers to the bride and groom!
NOW READ: Prince Harry And Meghan Markle's Relationship Timeline
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle met in London in July 2016.
They were introduced by mutual friend Markus Anderson, who is the director of Soho House.
In October 2016, the Express became the first newspaper to publish news that Prince Harry had a new girlfriend.
On November 8th 2016, Kensington Palace released an unprecedented statement which referring to Markle as Harry's girlfriend for the first time.
In the statement, Prince Harry condemned the 'wave of abuse and harrassment' faced by Markle, saying that he was 'worried about Ms. Markle's safety and is deeply disappointed that he has not been able to protect her.'
'It is not right that a few months into a relationship with him that Ms. Markle should be subjected to such a storm,' the statement continued.
The couple were papped together for the first time in December 2016, shopping for a Christmas tree in London at the Pines and Needles store.
Later that week, they were seen on London's West End, catching a performance of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time.
In February, Prince Harry wore a his 'n' hers bracelet on the cover of Town & Country magazine, just weeks after Markle was pictured wearing the same one on Instagram.
In March 2017, Meghan joined Prince Harry in the Caribbean for the wedding of his friend's Tom 'Skippy' Inskip and Lara Hughes-Young.
It was the first time that Markle accompanied Harry to a wedding, marking another milestone occasion for the couple.
The first public event attended by the couple was the polo at Coworth Park in May 2017.
Later in May, Markle attended the party portion of Pippa Middleton's wedding to James Middelton.
Prince Harry was seen driving her to the event after the church ceremony.
The couple made their first official public appearance in September, when Markle attended the opening of Prince Harry's Invictus Games.
Meghan wore a maroon midi dress with a pleated chiffon skirt by one of her favourite Canadian brands Aritzia.
She teamed it with a matching burgundy biker jacket by Mackage.
Although Prince Harry was sat next to First Lady Melania Trump at the event, rather than his girlfriend, she was only seated a few rows behind him.
The couple were photographed together the following day at the wheelchair tennis.
Much was made of Markle's choice of outfit: ripped jeans and a white blouse called 'The Husband'.
The couple 'broke with royal protocol' by holding hands and appearing affectionate while at the Invictus Games.
Prince Harry reportedly spent time with Meghan's mother Doria while at the Games too.
The couple indulged in some PDA at the closing ceremony.
Prince Harry was photographed kissing Meghan.
In an interview with Vanity Fair, Meghan referred to Harry as her boyfriend numerous times, saying: 'We're a couple. We're in love. I'm sure there will be a time when we will have to come forward and present ourselves and have stories to tell, but I hope what people understand is that this is our time.'
In late September 2017, it was reported that Meghan had met the Queen, prompting speculation that the relationship was getting serious.
In early November 2017, it was reported that Meghan Markle was leaving Suits after seven series.
In mid-November 2017, bookies suspending betting on an impending royal engagement, as speculation grew that an announcement was about to be made.
On November 27th 2017, Prince Charles announced the engagement of his younger son Prince Harry and Meghan Markle after 15 months of dating.
The couple later appeared at a photocall, with Markle wearing a white dress coat by Canadian brand Line The Label. The website has subsequently crashed.
The engagement ring, by Cleave and Company, was reportedly designed by Prince Harry himself, using two stones that belonged to Princess Diana.
When asked by waiting photographers if the proposal was romantic, Harry joked 'of course!'