Paloma Faith has never been one to shy away from some straight talking. Now, in a recent interview, she’s got real about the struggles of motherhood, suggesting that women ‘can’t have it all.’
Speaking to the Radio Times to promote her new book, MILF, Faith said she feels ‘disgruntled’ about ‘society’s expectation on women’ because ‘we were given this idea that you could work and have your own money and independence while raising children,’ adding ‘What we’ve ended up with is far too much responsibility, and I think a lot of women are burning out.’ She also touched on the role father's play in the co-parenting dynamic, saying 'Parenting is a full-time job. If you're also CEO of your own business, like I am, then I'm meant to delegate to my partner, but that's a full-time job because they've not got any initiative.'
Faith has two children under the age of ten with her former partner Leyman Lahcine. The couple separated in 2022 after nine years together. She has previously called splitting from Lachine as 'the worst thing that has happened to me’ but has admitted the pair are ‘doing really well’ because ‘I expect nothing from him and vice-versa.'
Alongside promoting her book, Faith is currently touring in the UK and Europe, and trying to balance her work commitments with childcare. ‘Touring as a single parent is something else,’ she told the Radio Times. ‘Back in the day, I’d get in at two in the morning and then I’d sleep in because my ex would look after the kids. But now I get in, get four hours sleep, then I’m up getting them ready for school.’
The ‘have-it-all’ myth is a topic that’s close to Faith’s heart. In her new book, MILF: Motherhood, Identity, Love and F*ckery, she addresses what it means to be a woman and a mother in the modern age, exploring topics such as the Supermum myth, the expectations of patriarchy, the challenges of IVF and sexual awakenings. It's a topic that will feel familiar to many mothers. In a 2012 study by O2, around half of women admitted it's 'impossible' to combine a happy home life with a fulfilling career.
The interview follows controversial comments Faith made on Lorraine earlier this year, when she said she doesn’t ‘like the word co-parent’ because fathers shouldn't be 'over applauded' for 'actually parenting' their children. ‘Unless, there are some anomalies, and there are men who write to me who are like, “I don't like the fact you say that” and there are definitely some men pulling the main bulk of the work, but in majority of cases, the kind of unspoken silent mental load that a mother does and usually timewise, it's not 50/50 either,’ she said. ‘I'm not saying that I don't think that my children's father is amazing but I think it's quite important that we acknowledge what's actually happening, which is that women are doing too much.’
At the time, co-parenting advocate Aaron Dale reacted to Faith's comments and told the Evening Standard: 'I appreciate the perspective shared about the realities of parenting roles. It's important to recognise the significant and often unspoken contributions that mothers make. However, it's also crucial to remember that co-parenting is about collaboration and focusing on what's best for the child.'