Olivia Attwood is known for her much-needed honesty (it's why we love her). The former Love Islander didn't hold back on Monday's episode of the Newlyweds podcast, with Jamie Laing and Sophie Habboo, where she shared her true feelings about her own wedding to Bradley Dack – while he was sat right next to her. In fact, she bonded with co-host Sophie over one of the last remaining heterosexual taboos out there: not enjoying your own wedding.
Sophie and Olivia had a refreshingly honest talk on how stressful getting married can be, and the huge amount of pressure on brides to look their best. I've never understood the rush or inclination to have a huge wedding, and often felt like an anomaly for it. Yet I've seen first-hand the chaos, stress and frustration from brides in the run-up to what's billed as 'the best day of your life'. Still, I've not heard many women admit they didn't have a good time at their wedding.
When asked if she enjoyed hers, Olivia laughed and said, 'Funny enough, no. I found it traumatising', and Sophie joined in, saying, 'Wait, what? I did too, I hated every second of it.'
The pair began comparing notes, with Olivia saying it felt like, 'my lungs were closing in on me every day', while Sophie said, 'I was gasping, I was like paddling. If one more person goes: "How's wedding planning going?" I'll slap you'.
She added that she really doesn't love 'all eyes on me', adding, 'I also really hate something being my identity. Like I hated just being the bride. That was a lot for me'.
They then went on to talk about the huge body image pressures they experienced in particular, with Olivia making a sad confession about her wedding morning. Rather than enjoying a glass of bubbly, or relaxing into the day, she was at the gym. 'This is so sad. I was in the Bulgari hotel gym at 5am on my wedding day, trying to get a glute pump. That's what being a bride is,' she said.
Many of us know a friend who's gone to extreme measures all in pursuit of fitting a wedding dress, or looking picture-perfect – at a huge cost to their wellbeing. Despite having the most Instagram-ideal wedding days, Sophie and Olivia's admission that it was 'traumatic' is an important reminder not to get swept up in prioritising how one day (in hopefully a long life) looks to other people at the expense of your own happiness.
Lots of us are fed images and messaging around weddings being a huge milestone in our life – a moment we'll remember forever. But the reality is, the pressure becomes unmanageable as a result. Committing to someone is a beautiful thing, but it's then reduced down to how we look, the dress we wear and how perfectly an event goes, while we do it. The true purpose takes a backseat in our modern fixation with how everything looks online.
The more conversations we have around how damaging these perfectionist approaches to weddings are, the better. It's the first-step in detaching ourselves from the damaging expectations around them – that we have to look flawless, the day has to transition with no hiccups, and we'll be the happiest we've ever felt in our lives – that actively lead to them becoming a source of panic and distress. Actually, lets divorce ourselves from society's toxic approach to weddings and just focus on what makes us happy.