Last night MTV, a television channel that used to show loads of music videos, hosted its European Music Awards in Glasgow. And here are all the talking points it threw up.
International attendees included, um, David Hasselhoff, Ariana Grande, Alicia Keys and Enrique Iglesias, but we're not sure whether to include Nicki Minaj in the list any more. Because throughout last night's celebrations, she referred to herself as 'the Queen of Scotland' more than once, even rapping 'I'm pretty much Scottish. I made up a rap. I never fucked [Lil] Wayne because he's not a Scot.'
The performer/host added: 'Queen, that's what they call me. Balling with the tartan army,' perhaps showing she understood the plight of those 44.7 per cent of Scots who voted for their country to become an independent state in September. Or maybe she figured that if you perform three songs and 10 costume changes during an awards ceremony, you kind of get to call yourself a queen. Plus, Nicki was referred to by MTV as 'her Minajesty', which definitely has a ring to it.
Unlike the actual Queen Elizabeth, she swore loads, even taking an opportunity to curse at a dinosaur who 'photobombed' her attempts at a mass selfie full of people we can't quite make out, yelling 'Photobombing a selfie? That is SO early 2014. You stupid fucking dinosaur. GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!'
Did other stuff happen? we hear you ask. Well the answer is: Yes.
The battle-lines between boybands have been firmly drawn as 5 Seconds of Summer picked up three awards, the exact same number as One Direction. Neither band were there to pick up their awards; 5SOS were over on the west coast of America on tour. As for One Direction? They were only down the road in London, but were booked in to sing on The X Factor; we figure their loyalty lies with Simon Cowell, after all.
Ariana Grande performed, as did Alicia Keys, the aforementioned Enrique, and the ubiquitous (seriously, check your iPhone) U2. Charli XCX was on hand to sing her hit Boom, Clap, and Kiesza sang her breakaway hit Hideaway but Calvin Harris didn't perform due to 'heart problems'.
Ed Sheeran was accompanied by some interpretative dancers, and the alternative music scene was given a nod to by the presence of Ozzy Osbourne – there for his special Global Icon award – and, um, Slash from Guns N' Roses. Royal Blood also performed, and by that we don't mean Nicki Minaj in a poppy-red dress, but the actual band, Royal Blood.
And that is, basically, your need to know. We're now just waiting for all of Nicki, Charli and Ariana's bits to be cut together into a user-friendly montage.
Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophwilkinson
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.