Dating apps seem to have a bad reputation these days. When the rise of the internet first enabled people to meet strangers online, before meeting a la You’ve Got Mail, it seemed lame, perhaps even dangerous. As time went on, it got more acceptable. Many people no longer seemed embarrassed to reveal that they met their husbands via Tinder, as if it would previously have been shameful to not have come together via some romantic comedy-esque meet cute. But the tide seems to be turning once again. For some reason, app-bashing is back on the menu.
Last week, Michelle Obama caused international ire when she said that ‘you can’t Tinder your way into a long-term relationship’. Young couples, she argued, see relationship challenges as failures, rather than problems to be solved, and give up rather than fight for success. Critics complained that Michelle had no experience with Tinder and other such apps. She was married to a handsome future-President in 1992, a mere year after the world wide web opened to the public. Her statement seems to judge something she has little to no experience of.
Sharon Stone’s latest stance, at least, comes from real life. We know that she joined Bumble last year, because she was reported and blocked by fellow users who, presumably, couldn’t believe that the Basic Instinct star could possibly be looking for love online. Now, she has called app dating ‘dismal’, saying that ‘real chemistry, that frisson, happens in the air, not on a site, and people are becoming less socially adept.’
Celebrities and their lookalike children
1 of 25Reese Witherspoon and Ava Phillipe
The new Insta post is the lates image from Reese that shows that Ava - whose father is Reese's ex-husband and Cruel Intentions co-star, Ryan Phillipe - got her mum's looks. Ava turned 21 in September 2020, with Reese posting an adorable tribute to her.
2 of 25Cindy Crawford and Kaia Gerber
Cindy Crawford has certainly passed down her model good looks to her daughter, Kaia Gerber, who is now also a model.
3 of 25Thandie Newton and Nico Parker
Thandie Newton passed on her acting skills and her amazing genes to daughter Nico Parker.
4 of 25Gwyneth Paltrow and Apple Martin
Gwyneth Paltrow shares daughter Apple and son Moses with ex-husband Chris Martin of Coldplay. Her daughter really is the Apple of her eye!
5 of 25Blythe Danner and Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth is also the spitting image of her own mother, actress Blythe Danner.
6 of 25Demi Moore and Rumer Willis
Ghost actress Demi Moore shares three children with ex-husband Bruce Willis - Rumer, Scout and Tallulah. Although all three resemble their famous mother, Rumer is the spitting image of her, pictured here.
7 of 25Celebrities and their lookalike children - Gary and Daniel Barlow
Take That's Gary Barlow shared this snap of himself with his son, Daniel - who looks EXACTLY like his famous dad in the band's heyday.
8 of 25The Beckhams
David and Victoria Beckham have four children together - Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz and Harper are a complete mix of their parents!
9 of 25David and Romeo Beckham
But Romeo especially... The 18-year-old seems to look more and more like his father as the days go by. He's also recently been trying some of the hairstyles his dad sported back in the noughties.
10 of 25Simon and Eric Cowell
The showbiz industry's resident Mr Nasty has turned soft since the birth of his son Eric, who he shares with partner Lauren Silverman.
11 of 25Julianne Moore and Liv Freundlich
Actress Julianne Moore has passed down her beautiful red locks to her daughter Liv, who also shares many of her facial features too!
12 of 25Madonna and Lourdes Leon
Pop queen Madonna's daughter Lourdes is her double!
13 of 25Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian-West
Matriarch of the Kardashian-Jenner clan, Kris Jenner, looks very similar to all five of her daughters, but she resembles second-eldest Kim Kardashian-West the most.
14 of 25Will Smith and Trey, Jaden and Willow Smith
You'd definitely know the Fresh Prince of Bel Air's kids if you passed them in the street! Jaden and Willow look almost exactly like him.
15 of 25Clint and Scott Eastwood
Actor and director Clint Eastwood was known as a bit of a Hollywood hunk in his day, and it looks as though his actor son Scott has taken on that responsibility too!
16 of 25Bette Midler and Sophie Von Haselberg
Hocus Pocus actress Bette Midler and her daughter Sophie Von Haselberg could be twins!
17 of 25Ice Cube and O'Shea Jackson Jr
Rapper and actor Ice Cube's son O'Shea Jackson Jr looks as though he could be his actual twin!
18 of 25Jude and Rafferty Law
Hollywood actor Jude Law has five children - one of which is Rafferty, with ex-wife Sadie Frost. They look so similar!
19 of 25Angelina Jolie and Shiloh Jolie Pitt
Angelina Jolie may share six children with her ex-husband Brad Pitt, but daughter Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is her absolute mini-me.
20 of 25Mamie Gummer, Meryl Streep and Grace Gummer
Meryl Streep has three daughter, but the eldest two - Mamie and Grace - could be her doppelgängers.
21 of 25Kim Basinger and Ireland Baldwin
Actress Kim Basinger shares daughter Ireland Baldwin with her ex-husband, Alec Baldwin.
22 of 25Tom and Colin Hanks
It's easy to see where actor Colin Hanks gets his looks from - his famous father, Tom Hanks!
23 of 25Lisa Bonet and Zoë Kravitz
You'd think actress Lisa Bonet and her actress daughter Zoë Kravitz were sisters - but that's not the case!
24 of 25Alan and Robin Thicke
Singer Robin Thicke looks exactly the same as his late actor father, Alan.
25 of 25Uma Thurman and Maya Thurman Hawke
Kill Bill actress Uma Thurman shares daughter Maya with her ex-husband, actor Ethan Hawke.
So, when did it become so cool to criticise a method that, for the most part, is bringing people together and efficiently? Before Tinder and Bumble, OKCupid and Hinge, there were limited options. You could be fixed up by friends. You could meet organically at a bar, a party or a wedding. Or you could put a classified ad in the paper. That was it. Your entire romantic potential was dependent on friends knowing someone eligible, coming across a match completely randomly, or spending money on a WLTM square of ink. Now, the world has opened up. You can match with reams of singletons on a wide selection of apps, some of which allow only women to make the first move, thereby reducing creepy male behaviour. It shifts the goalposts into safer, more comfortable territory: yes, you will receive gross messages from men – some men could find a way to sexualise ashes in an urn - but they can be ignored, blocked and avoided. The same cannot be said from a first date arranged after meeting randomly in a café: the first date is the first chance to discover what you’re dealing with, and these situations are harder to detach oneself from.
Sharon and Michelle obviously have a point. Of course the initial, first stage taking place on a phone removes that first chance of a real spark. Of course it would be nicer to meet someone on the dancefloor at a wedding, or beneath the mistletoe at a friend’s Christmas party. But that’s just not how life works anymore. The pool is shallow, and no longer full of fish. Dating apps drop the pool in the Pacific and expose us to a whole new world of options. Yes, there are sharks, but isn’t that worth the risk for love? And besides, we all know people who have found real love on Tinder. I have been to many, many weddings in the last decade where the bride and groom, groom and groom or bride and bride began their journey by swiping right. Is their love story lesser? Are they doomed? No, they just didn't have a traditional beginning.
Criticism from those who have no experience with services like Tinder, or those whose lives are so, so different to the rest of us, raise interesting points on how romance and dating has changed in a modern world. But they are also ignorant to the real experiences of normal people, and risk shaming those who are looking for ways to find love. If it puts even one person off signing up, makes just one person ashamed to tell their friends that they may have met someone special via this avenue, then that’s a problem. Anti dating app? That’s your opinion. But forgive me if I swipe left on your anti-tech stance.
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