Mel B once declared, in 1997, that she hated ‘weak men and salads’. Twenty two years later, a very much single Mel is sitting at her home in Leeds, pondering how she feels about men in general. ‘I still hate weak men,’ she laughs. ‘Weak men are so pathetic. For a start, they thrive off a woman’s insecurity, and that’s where a lot of abusive relationships can start: very subtle and coercive. But you shouldn’t confuse vulnerability with weakness. Vulnerability is a beautiful thing. But weakness? Terrible.’
When you’ve had a stage nickname like Scary for 30 years, your public reputation definitely stomps along before you. But the real Mel, behind the scenes, has witnessed herself being broken down by difficult private chapters, particularly during her 10-year marriage to producer Stephen Belafonte, who she claimed left her with just £800 to her name after their divorce. Mel alleged in 2016 court papers that he beat her, subjected her to mental abuse and conducted an affair with the nanny (Stephen strongly denied the allegations).
Today Mel, who has also had relationships with actor Eddie Murphy and dancer Jimmy Gulzar, says that, for the first time in a long time, dating isn’t something she’s thinking about. ‘I’ve only been divorced for three-and-a-half years,’ she explains. ‘I haven’t really ventured too much into the dating world, but that is my choice. I choose to spend most of my time – if not all of my time – with my children and family. So I haven’t been out in that world again yet. I think, if it happens, it happens. I wouldn’t go looking for it. My priorities are not about that now.’
And so, having sworn off looking for love for the time being, Mel is focusing on sitting back and doling out some advice on the subject instead. She is working with dating app Badoo – which bills itself as the place to date honestly – on podcast series The Truth Flirts, which discusses the peaks and pitfalls of romance and shares insights on finding love. ‘It’s a bit different for me,’ she explains. ‘I get to interview people.'
So far, she’s grilled Love Island’s Amy Hart about rejection, singer Jamelia has shared about the difficulties of dating as a single parent and, in an episode earlier this month, Daisy Lowe spoke for the first time about the ‘heartbreaking’ abortion she had when she was younger.
It’s a new chapter for Mel, whose year has so far been very much dominated by the Spice Girls (not to mention the tabloid headlines that they generate any time there’s even a rumour they might get back in one room together). It’s now been a year since Mel persuaded the rest of the band (sans Victoria Beckham) to regroup for a hugely successful UK tour, which earned them £10 million each this summer. Since then, Mel has swung in the complete opposite direction, and has gone from performing at Wembley Stadium to living a quiet life in her hometown of Leeds with her three children.
‘My sister had a baby, I’ve been back at my mum’s house, my 12-year-old is in a school just around the corner from where we’re living in Leeds. I never thought I’d see the day she would move to the cold. She was born and raised in LA. So that’s been a real eye opener for me too. I was thinking about going back to LA and she said, “Why would you want to do that? All your friends and family are here.” And I thought, yeah, good point.’
When it comes to intra-band relations, the Spice Girls have had more ups and downs than Leo DiCaprio’s trousers since they first got together. In May, Mel threatened the future of her friendship with Geri Halliwell for good when she was asked about a prevailing rumour – that she and Geri had been romantically involved. She confirmed it. Geri said she found the revelations ‘very disappointing’ and said they were ‘simply not true’. Tension in rehearsals was, reports claimed, palpable. But Mel is resolute. ‘Headlines are always going to be there,’ she says. ‘I can’t help but be honest. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if I hadn’t told the truth.’
‘I can’t regret anything,’ she adds, defiantly. ‘I’ve got three amazing kids, from three different – very different – relationships. But also, I’ve experienced real, deep love in my relationships, so I’m grateful for that too. I’ve become the person I am from all those relationships. I can say that now, because I’ve come out of a difficult one. You go through what you go through.’
Once she’d managed to clear the air with an allegedly very frosty Geri, Mel says that being reunited with her, Emma Bunton and Mel C again was ‘a real joy’.
‘I’ve been saying that the Spice Girls were going to get back together for the past seven years, and it actually happened,’ Mel explains. ‘My eight-year-old, Madison, had asked if I was ever really a Spice Girl, and then she got to see me on stage, in real life, being Scary Spice.’ Mel was, nevertheless, crippled with anxiety, using a regimented pre-show schedule (including 150 sit-ups and reiki) just to enable her to get through it.
As time goes on, Mel will inevitably dip her toe back into the dating pond. Knowing if someone is only after you for your fame and money is something she thinks she’s getting better at spotting. ‘You’re always going to get that,’ she says, resignedly, of suitors who are more enamoured of her fame than her. ‘That’s just what comes along with being in the public eye and being out there.’
But she’s never going to give up on being a Spice Girl – and despite reports that the other girls are finally done with the reunion shows, Mel isn’t letting go. ‘I am always going to hold a candle that we can get back on stage together’, she says, hopefully. ‘I’ve always supported that, and it worked because we all did it this year together. Well, four of us. I even sent a text this week to everyone saying, “Come on, are we going to do something again or what?” We need to.’
The Truth Flirts with Badoo is available on iTunes and other podcast providers
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