The first episode of Mariah Carey’s new reality show, Mariah’s World, premiered in the US over the weekend. If you’re a Mariah devotee/reality TV junkie, you probably watched it last night on streaming service hayu, or maybe you’re waiting for the UK premiere on E! on December 11th – if so, please prepare for spoilers, or look away now.
These are the seven funniest, weirdest and most Mariah moments that happened in episode one.
**1. The bit with Bianca Storm **
If you’re an OG Mariah fan, you’ll know all about her alter ego/arch nemesis, Bianca (Mimi in a wig). The brunette vixen first appeared in Mariah’s Heartbreaker music video back in 1999, as a woman her boyfriend was cheating on her with, but now she’s back to introduce “Maria’s” new show. With her dodgy British accent and instruction to “please let me know if my boobs come out during the interview,” Bianca provides an insight into what really goes on inside Mariah’s head, and it’s pretty lols.
**2. The bit with the dancer **
Y’know how the papers have been full of rumours that Mariah’s engagement to James Packer ended because of her closeness to tour dancer Bryan Tanaka? Well, Mariah’s World takes no time in introducing him, with Bryan gaining way more screen time than Mimi’s then-fiancé. “It was about 2005/2006 when I first met Mariah Carey,” explains Bryan. “I was a young buck; I was this green rookie when I first worked with her. So many things have happened, I grew up, I turned into a man and she’s gone through so much… I think it’s gonna take some time for us to get back to that comfortability where we were just homies.” Setting the scene nicely there, producers.
**3. The bit where Mariah’s kids attempt to parent her **
“Mommy, you’re gonna get a cold!” shout twins Moroccan and Monroe, as Mariah jumps from a yacht into the sea, fully clothed. We’re pretty sure this will be neither the first or last time they try to take charge of Mommy dearest, but they do all appear to have a very cute relationship, with Mariah declaring, “It’s always been the music first, but now that I’m a mommy, they come first.”
4. The bit with the wedding dress
We already know Mariah’s wedding isn’t going to happen, but at the time of filming everything was still on, and Mimi was doing what every excitable bride does: trying on wedding dresses. Once she’s slipped into her glitzy gown, Mariah’s manager Stella calls her son over and says, “Rocky, look at Mommy, she looks like a princess!” The oh-so-innocent Moroccan responds, “She looks like she’s gonna start to marry somebody.” “Start to” is about right tbh.
**5. The bit where we find out Mariah rarely sleeps **
“I’m a night person, I work better at night, I’m more creative at night.” And yet we see her up all day AND all night. When does she sleep? Well, apparently only when her Apple TV is on, which brings us to…
**6. The bit with the Apple TV **
Newly-hired tour assistant Molly has been told two things: no boyfriends in her first year of the job and no crying on the job. On arrival in Glasgow for the first night of Mariah’s tour, we see her crying because she doesn’t know how to set up her Apple TV and “if she can’t have the Apple TV playing while she’s sleeping, she can’t sleep, and if she can’t sleep she can’t perform, if she can’t perform there’s no show”. And that’s right after we’ve seen Molly saying goodbye to her boyfriend.
**7. All the bits where Mariah talks to camera **
It’s not so much what Mariah says, rather her outfits and positioning on her chaise lounge, which just makes her commentary so insanely fabulous.
New episodes of Mariah’s World land on hayu every Monday or you can watch on E! from December 11th.
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**Pictures: Hayu /E! **
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.