Please, Stop Asking Women If They’re Pregnant

Mariah Carey might have been asked the question by Ellen back in 2008 - but as Made In Chelsea's Tabitha Willett proves, it's still being asked today.

mariah carey

by Bonnie McLaren |
Updated on

As allegations about chat show host Ellen DeGeneres continue to swirl, old interviews from the programme keep on being resurfaced. But one of the most uncomfortable videos we’ve been reminded of was when Ellen tried her best to pressure pop legend Mariah Carey into revealing she was pregnant.

During the interview, Ellen asks if it’s true whether Mariah was expecting with then-husband Nick Cannon - but as Mariah tries to shut down the conversation, Ellen then sneakily asks her to toast with champagne. 'Let's toast to you not being pregnant, if you're not pregnant,' Ellen chants. It only gets worse when she notices that Mariah pretends to drink from the glass. Grinning, Ellen has won. 'You're pregnant,' she practically screams.

Two years after the exchange, in 2010, the popstar confirmed that she was pregnant at the time - but that she tragically miscarried not long afterwards. Now, following the scrutiny Ellen and her show is facing about a negative work environment, Mariah has spoken about the moment again with Vulture. ‘I was extremely uncomfortable with that moment is all I can say,’ she recalled. ‘And I really have had a hard time grappling with the aftermath.’

She continued: ‘I wasn’t ready to tell anyone because I had had a miscarriage. I don’t want to throw anyone that’s already being thrown under any proverbial bus, but I didn’t enjoy that moment.’ Carey went on to say that she had wished ‘empathy’ had ‘been implemented’ in the moment, adding: ‘But what am I supposed to do? It’s like, “What are you going to do?”’

This exchange might have been twelve years ago - and you'd hope most people understand by now asking somebody whether they're pregnant is never okay. It's such a loaded question that even uttering it can hurt (even when the intention is far from that). Not every woman wants a child, is capable of having one, or, sadly, like Mariah, some women might have experienced a traumatic event such as a miscarriage. Plus the fact that it's absolutely none of nobody's business what happens inside your body.

It's always an emotional and tricky topic. And so many women deal with things silently, as presenter Laura Whitmore, who suffered a miscarriage herself, recently said. 'When it comes to having children or not having children, I don't think we realise how many women have to deal with things quietly,’ she told Grazia, as she released a short film about motherhood. ‘I did a podcast recently with [the comedian] Katherine Ryan and she spoke to me about her experience of miscarriage that I didn’t know she went through. So many women will go through something really big. And then they'll have to pretend everything's okay and get up on stage or look after their other kids or go to work. And they don't talk about things.'

But sadly, in 2020, the question is still being asked.

Made In Chelsea star Tabitha Willett recently posted to her Instagram, telling her followers to stop DMing her with questions asking if she was pregnant. 'I've had quite a few DMs asking if I was pregnant from my latest post, all from people I have never met,' she wrote, sharing the photo of Tabitha and her daughter Ottilie. 'I just thought I would say - no I'm not. I can't wait for that time to come but it's so personal and not something you should ask anyone until they feel comfortable to announce themselves.'

Instagram / Tabitha Willett
©Instagram / Tabitha Willett

Tabitha continued, saying that her followers had asked because her 'tummy isn't flat anymore'. 'I speak really openly about my body and in particular how my tummy isn't flat anymore and I LOVE it and actually think it looks normal and feminine. This is real and that's the reason I haven't photoshopped out the shadow and I think I still look nice even with the tummy. Let's be nice to one another.' Tabitha's right, women shouldn't have to edit their photos to avoid being asked whether they're pregnant. Even if you think somebody's body has changed, that will still never give you the right to ask such a personal question.

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