Is Made In Chelsea’s James Wrong To Complain About His And Maeva’s Post-Baby Sex Life?

'I'm tired, I'm dead. I'm not thinking about your desire, your emotions.’

Made in Chelsea's Maeva

by Isobel Lewis |
Published on

Made in Chelsea is back on our screens, with James Taylor and Maeva D’Ascanio continuing to clash over a most contentious topic: how often they're having sex since having a baby. The couple tied the knot in the autumn, less than a year after welcoming their son Beau. But the first few months of marriage haven’t been a totally smooth-sailing honeymoon period for the couple, with tensions rising over the amount of sex they’re having – or not having. At home, viewers have suggested that James could do with listening to his wife a bit more, all while assuring Maeva that what she’s feeling is ‘normal’.

The show returned for season 27 with James and Maeva opening up about their issues as a married couple. Discussing their struggles with friends, Maeva said, ‘You know what he said to me the other day? "You haven't touched me in a month." Yes... I'm tired, I'm dead. I'm not thinking about your desire, your emotions.’ James responded by asking, 'So you're saying sleep equals sex, so if I give you more sleep, I get more sex?’

In another scene, Maeva told James that she needed help from a nanny and James himself when it came to Beau. James later told Sam Prince that he was looking for a nanny and a sex therapist to help avoid things from ‘snowballing into a problem’. However, this turned into an issue when Maeva learnt this second hand from Sam, with Maeva saying, ‘This is the first time that I hear this sex therapist thing. [He] never mentioned to me that we needed a sex therapist.’

Fans of Made in Chelsea shared their frustration at James’ response, saying that he was ‘throwing money at the issue’ by hiring a nanny rather than helping his wife around the house more. Others, meanwhile, voiced their concerns over the pressure being placed on Maeva to have sex when she didn’t feel ready. ‘James is living in the 18th century if he can’t see why Maeva is annoyed with him,’ one viewer wrote, while another tweeted, ‘James isn’t listening to Maeva. The pressure he’s putting on her is awful,’ one commenter wrote. When the clip was shared online, one echoed, ‘Why is the tagline, “Maeva opens up about her self esteem’ and not ‘James is pressuring his wife to deliver for him”?’

Made in Chelsea's James
Maeva and James clashed over their sex life ©Channel 4

Maeva later confronted James about this, saying that she didn’t want to see a sex therapist, comparing him to a humping dog and telling him that married life was ‘shit’. ‘You really need to stop being like this. It's so irritating, all the time. Just because you don't have enough sex in your life, you act like a [dog]. Stop! I hate this,’ she said.

Monday 22 April’s episode saw the pair continue to hash it out, with Maeva calling James an ‘idiot’ for having told Sam about their issues. After James told her that ‘if you really want to make another kid, there’s only one way to do it’, she did agree to visit the therapist, with their first meeting being shown on screen. James told the sex therapist, Miranda, that their sex life had been on a ‘downward trajectory’ since they'd welcomed their son.

Maeva, meanwhile, said through tears that James didn’t ‘spend enough time’ with her ‘sexually’ and that things had been ‘up and down’ for her for a while, despite him describing their sex life as ‘fireworks’. ‘We got married a month, two months ago, and I’m worried for our future if it’s starting like this,’ she said, before the couple agreed that their upcoming holiday should allow them some ‘sexy time together’.

Sex, naturally, is an important part of relationships, but not everyone is up for getting back on it straight after giving birth - for some women the early years of motherhood are so all-encompassing that sex simply isn't top of the agenda, it can also be a logistical nightmare if you bed share or have a small house. The question of when to start having sex again after childbirth is dependent on a host of reasons, such as the way the child was delivered to traumatic injuries gained during the birth itself. According to the British Pregnancy Advisory Service, 23% of couples have started having sex again in the first six weeks after giving birth. By six months, this has risen to 87%, although there is no right or wrong way to do it; 10% wait between 6 months and a year, and a further 3% wait longer than a year.

Watching Maeva grow emotional during the sex therapy session, viewers at home voiced their concern for the reality star. ‘Never thought in a million years I would ever feel sorry for Maeva, but here we are,’ one viewer commented. ‘Maeva has lost Maeva since baby and wedding, she was always so forthright now she’s like a mouse,’ another said.

‘Oh love her, let's normalise this,’ one fan wrote. ‘Maeva is a new mum, sleep deprivation, exhaustion, body changes, hormone changes, complete lifestyle changes need time to adjust to…. Love her, I’m sending Maeva a huge hug now, she needs rest – she’s lost herself by the sounds, as is easy to do as a new mum. She is overwhelmed! Sending love Maeva, you’re doing a cracking job lovely – let’s not forget you’re on TV too!!!! How demanding is that!’

Other viewers called on James – and the therapist – to show more understanding to Maeva. One commenter wrote, ‘Everything going on with Maeva is normal. James is the one needing therapy and a swift, sharp speaking to about his expectations. This angers me beyond belief. Men acting like entitled brats should not be normalised. She will resent this in time. That at her most vulnerable time he just thought of himself. Ultimately he ‘blames’ her and this is going to result in Maeva feeling like SHE is not doing enough. He needs to have more respect and do more to support, not demand.’

In general, viewers agreed that Maeva should cut herself some slack. ‘Hats off to @maevadascanio for talking so openly about this!’ one commenter wrote. ‘So many women feel at an all time low with their self esteem & it does have an impact on your relationship/sex life! I think it’s brilliant that a light is being shone on this subject.’

Made in Chelsea airs Mondays at 9pm on E4.

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