Kristen Stewart’s My Heart Is a Wiffle Ball/Freedom Pole. And Other Ridiculous Examples Of Celebrity Poetry

Including Jennifer Aniston on love


by Debrief Staff |
Published on

Kirsten Stewart gave an interview to Marie Claire this week. But it wasn't her line about not apologising for who she falls in love with (hello, Rupert Sanders) or she thinks she'll have kids in the future but she's not certain about it - it was the 'embarrasing' poetry she also admitted she writes.

'I don't want to sound so f--king utterly pretentious, but after I write something, I go, 'Holy f--k, that's crazy…It's the same thing with acting: If I do a good scene, I'm always like, 'Whoa, that's really dope.'"

Kristen isn't the only star who's turned to poetry. So in the interests of investigative journalism (read: mining the depths of the internet where you really don't want to go...) here's a run-down of the celebrities who think they're poets. It's fair to say Shakespeare's reputation is safe. And that stuff you scrawled in your Groovy Chick padlocked pink diary is looking a lot less embarrassing.

**Kristen Stewart's *My Heart Is a Wiffle Ball/Freedom Pole. *(And no, we have no clue what that title means either): **

I reared digital moonlight,

You read its clock, scrawled neon across

That black,

Kismetly…ubiquitously crestfallen,

Thrown down to strafe your foothills…

I’ll suck the bones pretty.'

**Pamela Anderson's accompaniment to her Playboy shoot **

'Our best isn’t good enough

Right now our eyes are far-reaching

Please lets show the good in us…

The brilliance…

The wonderful…

It’s abundant

It’s just not tapped as it should be.'

James Franco's Los Angeles Proverb - which was actually published in The American Poetry Review

'Hollywood is an idea.

I want to get into the thick of it.

Movies won’t be around forever.'

**Jennifer Aniston on love. (What else?) **

'Lucky in love, lucky in love

Didn’t forget me when I asked you to leave me

Didn’t forget me

Now you’re alongside me

You’ve brought luck to love

I’ve been hit by a truck in love.'

Charlie Sheen's definitely-not-drunken ramblings:

'Teacher, teacher, I don’t understand

You tell me it’s like the back of my hand

Should I play guitar and join the band?

Or head to the beach and walk in the sand?'

Follow Helena on Twitter @HezzleHazzle

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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