Kim Kardashian Serves Up Another Edition Of Weird Decor for Kristmas

Online commentators have pointed out the tampon-esque nature of her white cotton trees

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

by Emily Watkins |
Updated on

Kim, we love you, but your house is weird. It is, isn’t it? When we got our first glimpse in that Vogue video, the main takeaway seemed to be ‘why isn’t there any… furniture?’, with ‘how on earth do those sinks work?’ as a close second. I’ll confess that I hadn’t explicitly wondered how the radical minimalism would translate to festive cheer, but I wish I had because the answer is as bananas as we could reasonably have hoped. Giving the world a rare glimpse into the Hidden Hills mansion she shares with Kanye and their four kids, Kim turned the camera to an all-white collection of towering, cotton structures. They’re nestled in an alcove, just waiting to jump out and getcha. Kim says the decorations are 'whimsical', and that they remind her of Dr Seuss' 'Whoville'; the internet does not agree.

Apart from being a little sinister (maybe it’s just me, but the ‘trees’ and their confronting, shadowy blankness seem more than a little eerie), Twitter was quick to point out a couple of other resemblances. Neither is particularly flattering, though both are definitely avant-garde – thus far, the two major consensuses are Team Tampon, and Team Dildo.

Further comparisons have been drawn between the trees and cat scratching posts, cotton buds and other long, white objects. While the décor is very Kim-and-Kanye, it’s not exactly in-keeping with the overarching Kardashian brand of Maximalism Meets Maximalism. See: Kourtney Kardashian’s North Pole Extravanganza for 2018, complete with polar bear statues; Stormi’s first Christmas with mum Kylie Jenner, the theme of which seemed to be Solid Gold.

Meanwhile, the world waits with baited breath for the annual Kardashian Christmas card (Kristmas Kard?). Last year's didn’t drop until December 24th, so we might be waiting a while. We’ll have to busy ourselves with the Sinister Cotton Mystery Towers for the time being; the existential crisis they’ve given me ought to see me through to at least 2020.

READ MORE: Kim Kardashian Finally Explains How Her Basin-Less Sinks Work, After The Internet Explodes With Questions

READ MORE: Kim Tells Caitlyn: 'Don't Talk About My Children'

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