Kim Kardashian’s media and merchandise empire includes five fragrances, a cosmetics range, workout videos, a clothing line, an autobiography, a fake-tan range and a tech-savvy entrepreneurial husband in Kanye West. It follows, then, that she’s got her very own app.
The Kim Kardashian app (sensibly named, that) gives you the opportunity to ‘create your own aspiring celebrity and rise to fame and fortune.' So, wait, if you create your own celebrity (presumably one who looks like you), where does that leave Kim? Well, a cartoonised version of the reality show star (how 2014 is that sentence?) plays your advisor, the Gok Wan to your aspiring celeb, basically telling you how amazing your outfit choices are on loop (although she never says ‘that’s hot’ – that's Paris' line and always will be).
Accompanied by banging house music, the trailer reveals how she gets to take you to mansions, bars, on dates, photoshoots, catwalks and red carpets. Acting as your sort of guardian angel, Kim helps you select clothes when you’re shopping, poses for when you’re modelling, dance moves when you’re clubbing and suitable things to say when you’re looking to ‘fall in love’. Handy.
We'd quite like it if options such as 'falling over into a hedgerow', 'wearing something really ugly' and 'tripping on the red carpet' (in every sense of the word 'tripping') were available. After all, what's more celebrity than that? But if you're still keen to learn how to fall in love from Kim, the app launches on the App Store and Google Play next week – just in case you weren’t already suffering with Tinder or Candy Crush-related RSI.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.