Selena Gomez Perfectly Sums Up What It’s Like When Your Ex Becomes A Nice Person After You Break Up

High drama in celeb world, as Selena Gomez releases a song about her relationship with Justin Bieber, or more specifically, the end of her relationship with Justin Bieber. She pulls no punches, detailing in the song (which is a banger) that he ‘replaced’ her within two months, and that only by losing him could she become a complete person.

Unsurprisingly the song didn’t go down to well with Justin’s newly-minted wife, who allegedly posted a song titled ‘I’m going to kill you’ on her Instagram stories (though she denies it was a reaction to the song dropping. Hm).

In Selena’s defence she could have dropped the song a couple of weeks earlier and really added some drama to the Bieber’s wedding week.

Having your boyfriend’s ex drop a single about him just after you get married is a champagne problem, it’s true. But, as is so often the case, if you remove the fancy backdrop and expensive furnishings, what’s happening in the Gomez-Bieber-Bieber world is pretty standard fare.

How many of us have been through the exact same, very frustrating, experience that Selena is currently enduring, of watching your horrible boyfriend go off with someone else and magically become not horrible.

As a reminder, during his on and off period with Selena, Justin did things like leaving his pet monkey in a German zoo and spitting on his fans. According to her song, he was a pretty rubbish partner behind closed doors as well.

But since Justin and Selena called it a day, JB has done things like embrace celibacy before marriage and wear a polo shirt. His reformation might be entirely organic, but it does seem to have coincided with his getting together with his now wife

There are few things more galling than watching someone who treated you like trash and refused to pull their act together over the course of your relationship then decide that actually they have got the facility to be a nice person, but that they’re only that way inclined when they’re romantically involved with someone else.

It’s easy to allow yourself to think that you were the problem, that if you had acted differently or done things better it would have been you, not the new partner, who unearthed this ability to behave nicely. But thinking that way is utterly fruitless and a fun way to torture yourself.

There’s every chance that the reason your ex can have a happy and healthy relationship with this new person is because of they way they behaved towards you. Being the one before the one is miserable, but it’s valuable. It might make you feel rubbish to know that you were the romantic version of training wheels, but knowing that it was you who brought that person closer to being emotionally healthy and able to have a viable relationship should be a source of pride, at least on some level.

Ultimately, once you break up with someone it’s time to move on. Spending time pouring over their Instagram, trying to work out whether they really have changed and if so why it wasn’t you who inspired that change is completely fruitless.

Is it fair that someone can treat you horribly and then magically transform overnight and treat their next partner like a queen? No, of course it isn’t. But wasting time marinating in the unfairness of the whole thing isn’t productive or healthy. Unless, of course, you can do a Selena and turn your pain into a everyone’s new favourite song.