After she roasted him good and proper during the, er, comedy roast, it was only fitting that Interview magazine got Martha Stewart to grill Justin Bieber. Unfortunately, the interview is really boring – though the pictures are absolutely brilliant.
In an array of polaroids, Bieber shows off the hair between his belly button and his wag, licks a knife, wears S&M style gloves, and generally looks like he’s just been at it. Presumably to make up for the really boring quotes from the interview itself. Still, we learnt some stuff about Justin – namely, that he likes private jets and finished school. Which, to be honest, anyone could have guessed.
Here are the highlights from the interview. Strap in guys, you’re about to get your mind blown.
Justin likes private jets
Brand new information! But yes, he actually doesn’t just like them, but cites them as his favourite mode of transportation because, well, obviously they’re the best. What was he going to say – a train? ‘That’s the quickest and most comfortable,’ he says, fascinatingly.
Justin is single
‘No girlfriend at the moment, no. I’m single.’ So we’re all in with a chance, then. Excellent.
He plays the drums
In fact, he’s actually good enough to be on his own album playing them, which we didn’t realise.
‘My best instrument is definitely drums, so I’m featured a lot on the album drumming,’ he explains. The world explodes and angels sing.
Justin did well at school
Martha presumed he’d dropped out as, admittedly, did we. Something about getting famous really young and acting like a moron for a few years hinted at this. But nope, he finished school with flying colours – Justin got a 4.0 GPA which is the equivalent of an A. Oooooh.
Staggering facts, right? We feel like we really know and understand him right now. No wonder they had to go hell for (literal) leather on the pictures.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.