If you can, cast your minds back to Valentine’s Day last year. Because, if you've forgotten, on last year’s national day of grand gestures, the greatest showbiz declaration of love ever happened; Love Island’sJess Shears and Dom Lever tied the knot on Good Morning Britain. I mean, they got absolutely slammed for it, and were later forced to reveal it was all fake, but still - the pair actually got married in October! And it seems like Jess and Dom are still in wedded bliss, as yesterday Jess revealed - by Instagram, no less - that the 2017 pair are having a baby.
Sharing a cute snap of three polaroids - one with Jess cradling her bump, one with Dom pretending to stroke his own tummy and another of the baby scan - Jess wrote, 'The best is yet to come 🤰🏽👼', and Dom shared the same snap with the caption, 'Living the dream ❤️.'
While Jess and Dom aren’t the first Love Island couple to become parents - most notably 2016 winners Cara de la Hoyde and Nathan Massey had baby Freddie in December 2017- the pair's baby definitely has the chance to become the most famous Love Island kid. So, in celebration of what's to come, we’ve had a think about what’s in store for the tot.
It will probably be uploading selfies to Instagram from the womb
Considering the baby has already had its first outing on Instagram - nobody would be surprised if the fetus started an account from the womb. Come on, you’ve got to get those numbers in early; build the brand from day one. (It’s quite dark in there though, the lighting would have to be ramped up while editing the selfies.)
And the deals will quickly roll in...
After setting up an account so early, the baby is going to be quick to rake in the sponsorship deals. It will be flogging teeth whitening strips probably before their little baby teeth have left their little gums. Cute!
The baby will obviously need the most up-to-date wardrobe
You know something that the fast fashion industry - loved and adored the Love Islanders and influencers alike who act as their walking billboards - is really missing? Baby fashion. Neon green baby grows? Baby-sized versions of those already tiny Bella Hadid-esque shades? Double denim baby-sized co-ords? Like any self-respecting Love Islander (and last year’s winner Dani Dyer) they will probably release a collection of dainty dresses with InTheStyle. Or, if they’re a boy, they’ll probably flog some cargo shorts for BoohooMAN. There could even be room for a savvy business opportunity for three matching - his, hers and baby's - fashion lines. Three times the cash.
The baby will be powered by only the very best (and Instagrammable) food
As slating of the Kardashians has proved, Skinny Detox teas aren’t really in vogue anymore. This baby, if it wants to stay on trend, is going to have to start a range of sustainable, organic, gluten-free, vegan, double-pureed baby food. Of course, the recyclable tubs will be available in every colour in order to get the perfect snap of them all lined up on the shelf.
Obviously, they'll become a best-selling author
Looking at how quickly reality contestants are able to publish a bestselling book, the future baby Shears will probably have penned a #relatable autobiography - probably before they can read, let alone write.
A club night tour will be replaced for early morning play dates
Unfortunately, there’s one part of reality fame that the baby will not be able to instantly capitalise on - and that’s personal appearances at the club. Because, like, drinking restrictions and all that. Not to worry though, they can jet off on a tour around the nation’s Jungle Jims instead.
CBeebies bedtime story, anyone?
If Jess and Dom don’t bag an ITVBe spin off show (think TOWIE’s Sam & Billie Faiers The Mummy Diaries) then you can guarantee the baby will get it’s own show. Or, they could go down the acting route, and become the British equivalent of Disney child stars Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake - just, instead of singing and dancing on The Mickey Mouse Club, they'll be reading bedtime stories on CBeebies instead.