On September 20th 2016, at 3pm, everything changed. It was revealed that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had filed for divorce after two years of marriage and a twelve year relationship.
Cheating rumours swirled. People shouted about karma and things coming full circle. Everyone proclaimed that love was dead and everything was ruined.
And along came the memes. So many memes. So many gifs. So many tweets, all centring on one key concept: Jennifer Aniston’s reaction to the news of Brangelina’s divorce.
Sure, all the Rachel Green reaction gifs were funny. They were perfectly chosen, and we give a silent nod of admiration to the people who found the most fitting reaction gifs first and boldly tweeted them into the midst.
But here’s the thing. Delighting in Jennifer Aniston’s imagined delighted reaction at the breakup of her ex and the woman he cheated with isn’t cool. It’s a massive dick move.
Not just because delighting in someone’s divorce is, generally, a dick move. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt share six children. They’ve been together for twelve years. This breakup is going to cause a lot of pain, and hurt, and difficulty, and no one should be cackling at that, no matter how famous Brad and Angelina and their relationship history may be.
Not just because of that.
But because by assuming Jennifer Aniston is currently laughing her head off at the news that Brad and Angelina are donezo does a massive disservice to Jennifer Aniston. And if you count yourself as #TeamJen, you really shouldn’t be engaging in it.
Jennifer and Brad divorced in 2005, a time when streaky highlights and low-slung jeans were still the coolest thing ever. Since then, Jennifer Aniston has been continually cast as the sad, bitter spinster, alone and devastated after her husband cheated on her onset with Angelina Jolie.
It didn’t matter what she achieved, who she dated, or how happy she appeared. Jen was never allowed to escape that storyline. If she was sad, it was because of the devastation caused by being cheated on. If she was happy, she was bravely smiling on through the pain, and we should all send her our pity along with our support.
When Jennifer tied the knot with Justin Theroux, we thought we might finally be able to move on with the narrative (it shouldn’t have taken her getting married, but whatever, we’ll skip over our rage at that for now).
Then this happened.
Now, she’s still ‘the woman who got cheated on’. It’s just that instead of being miserable and lonely, we’re now casting her as the woman who’s finally got revenge on the other woman. We’re suggesting that Jennifer couldn’t have truly been happy until Brad and Angelina were miserable. We’re all imagining her finally being able to become her best self, because that’s what you call closure.
Which all massively underestimates who Jennifer Aniston is.
It’s been twelve years. Jennifer Aniston has moved on. Do we think she won’t care at all that Brad and Angelina have broken up? Of course not. It’s likely that she heard and felt a little sad, as most people do when they hear about yet another really long relationship breaks down and reminds us that everlasting love isn’t always a thing.
But it seems cruel to assume she’s ecstatic about the news. Not just because doing so casts Jennifer Aniston as someone who takes joy in other people’s misery (which is a rude thing to think), but also because like the rest of us, Jennifer Aniston probably hoped that Brangelina would last forever – if only to give some justification to the pain she went through.
As someone who’s been cheated on (not in a high-profile marriage, but still), I know that the cheated on party tends to tell themselves a story to get through the emotional trauma. We tell ourselves that it’s not competitive, that there’s nothing wrong with us, because the person they cheated with is just who they’re meant to be with. If everything works out, then it all happened for a reason. Right?
When that ‘other’ relationship breaks down, it makes us question stuff. It brings it all up again. It’s really not a happy, fun time.
And even without the cheating part, there’s nothing quite like the breakdown of someone else’s twelve year relationship to make you wonder if you’re kidding yourself with this whole longterm love thing. Not fun.
I doubt Jennifer Aniston wanted Angelina and Brad to fail. And I doubt that she’s toasting champagne or dancing around her bedroom now that they have.
If you’re truly team Jen, don’t imagine her as the vindictive woman delighting in someone else’s pain. Don’t imagine her rubbing it in Brad’s face, or being snarky to Angelina.
We don’t really know how Jennifer Aniston is feeling or reacting right now.
But if you really do count yourself as team Jen (and if you do, we’d recommend being team Angelina too, because you don’t have to hate one woman to support another), imagine her not giving a f*** about a guy she was with twelve years ago. Imagine her feeling a little sad for Brangelina, because it’s sad when any couple breaks up. Imagine her just being happy in her own life, fulfilled, and free of a sexist narrative that’s been pinned on her for over a decade.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.