Is Harry Styles, known for the legendary, luscious locks of a Grecian demi-god, secretly bald as a coot? Probably not. Will that stop the internet tossing around a bizarre new theory that our sweet angelic pop boy is losing his hairline like a hot gossip potato? No.
The bonkers (yet irresistible) rumour comes from devoted depths of the industrial Harry support complex itself, a sprawling, frenzied fandom of ‘Harries’, ‘Stylers’ and, right at the back somewhere nodding along approvingly, the 'Sensible Mum' squad.
They seized upon a curious line from gossip site Deux Moi, which claimed to have received an anonymous tip about a male pop star with a formidable female following. ‘This A-list musician/occasional actor has a dirty little secret he hasn’t shared with fans,’ it read. ‘He has gone completely bald.’
And where do we turn to for when we need help from tireless internet sleuths? TikTok, of course, the site that never sleeps. Attempting to join the dots, the Gen Z rumour mill tried to pop out a little tasty truth bread.
One fan noted that Harry, 28, had once suggested in an interview that he found it easy to go unnoticed in public (and hypothesised it was because he removed his hair piece). Which … well, it’s definitely a take.
Then there are lots of mean-spirited photos and videos being shared because fans feel that poor Harry’s hairline is not what it once was in said shots and — worse — seems to be coming away from his head.
Surely this collective hysteria says far more about us than it says about the Peter Pan of Glam Pop. We say we’re woke to ageing, honest, yet demand slebs show us they've found the secret to eternal youth. We want a kinder, gentler internet, then jump mercilessly on the next bloke to look a little thin on top.
Are the Stylers ready for a Bald Harry? A Barry? For what it's worth, his follicles certainly look to us as full and bouncy as ever beneath the covers of his orgiastic new music video for Late Night Talking. Move along people. Nothing to see hair.