As a species, we've been spoilt for choice by futile and schadenfreude-fuelled celebrity court cases that generate more attention than they could ever possibly be worth. Last year, we had 'Wagatha Christie' when Rebekah Vardy sued Coleen Rooney for libel after Coleen dramatically exposed Rebekah for selling fake stories about her to The Sun. And now we have (what will one day appear in history books as 'Skigate') Gwyneth Paltrow's ski trial, where the actor was sued for $300,000 by 76-year-old Terry Sanderson for allegedly skiing into his back on holiday in Utah and causing him to suffer four broken ribs, a concussion, and a traumatic brain injury. Gwyneth, who claimed it was in fact Terry who caused the accident himself, successfully countersued him for just $1 - with the jury ruling unanimously in her favour.
While mental and physical injuries are of course not funny, the way the case is being handled in court is undeniably entertaining – particularly in terms of the granular details, such as Terry saying he is no longer able to enjoy wine tasting, Gwyneth suffering the loss of 'half a day's skiing' and Terry's lawyer Kristin Van Orman interrogating the actor about whether she's ever sent Taylor Swift a birthday present. The discourse took on a life of its own, and 'Gwyneth Paltrow court trial', 'Gwyneth Paltrow skiing video' and 'Gwyneth Paltrow live stream' were breakout search terms on Google Trends.
The case provided some much-needed respite from the regular gruelling news cycle, including some top-quality memes from across the social media board. But of course, like all that is good or slightly funny in the world, we are likely to take it too far. If the Wagatha Christie trial is anything to go by, Skigate could result in a Channel 4 dramatisation and a West End show by close of play. So let's try to enjoy these memes with healthy restraint.
Here are some of the best memes and videos from the Gwyneth Paltrow ski trial:
If we lost our ability to enjoy a good Chilean rioja, we'd sue Gwyneth Paltrow for $300,000 too darling!
Enter the biomechanics expert who did some uncanny sketches of the collision on the court whiteboard, before introducing a 3D computer-generated model of how the fall may have looked. It even included who's who labels and skis akimbo.
It was only a matter of time before references from wider pop culture started to enter the fold. Here's Gwyneth's testifier, as seen in The Sopranos. And what did she expect wearing those Jeffrey Dahmer glasses?
In one bizarre line of interrogation, the plaintiff's defence lawyer Kristin Van Orman tried to suggest Gwyneth was suing for $1 to copy Taylor Swift, who sued DJ David Mueller for $1 in 'symbolic damages' after her sued her for accusing him of assault and costing him his job in 2017. Kristin even asked if Gwyneth had ever sent Taylor a Christmas present as a way of finding out whether or not they were friends. We wonder if the lawyer has a teenage daughter asked her to slip that one in...
Skigate merch on sale at all good quality retailers soon. Or so we hope...
We can't find the original source material, but someone said this particular #courtOOTD makes Gwyneth look like she's off to teach a class in Defence Against the Dark Arts. And they're not wrong!
Other people have enjoyed how Gwyneth – wellness brand goop founder, juice cleanser and vaginal egg innovator – let her hair down during the trial and brought an entire bottle of sparkling water up to the stand with her. People go crazy when they're stressed!
Here's another highly technical sketch of the two opposing claims. Terry claims Gwyneth skied aggressively into him and caused him to crash sideways, while Gwyneth claims Terry skied at speed between her two skis from behind and took them both down.
The unanimous jury rules that Terry was at fault and Gwyneth won $1 for the prize pot. She then eerily said 'I wish you well' while walking out of court.