Whilst her role as a mum to daughter Apple, 19, and son Moses, 17, is relatively well-documented, actress Gwyneth Paltrow recently opened up to her Instagram followers about how she felt about becoming a step-mum when she married Brad Falchuk in 2018.
During an Instagram Q&A, the 50-year-old actress was asked, ‘Do you find it hard sometimes to be a bonus (step) mom?’ to which she responded, ‘I did find it really hard at first.’
She continued, ‘There’s no book on this. Nobody tells us what to do. And in fact, all of the existing media around what a stepmother is casts us in this evil, villainous light. It’s kind of like trying to avoid landmines.
‘You’re going into a family with dynamics, and there’s all kinds of fear around loss and what does this person mean. But you know for myself, the minute I decided and fully embodied the idea that my stepkids were my kids and I loved them just as much, and I gave them the same rules and boundaries and just kind of wholeheartedly went for it, the easier the whole thing got.’
Following her and Brad’s nuptials, Gwyneth Paltrow became a step-mum to Isabella, 18, and Brody, 16, whom the successful writer and producer shares with his first wife Suzanne Buknik.
And this isn’t the first time the Academy Award-winning actress has shared her feelings on embracing the role of stepmum.
She previously shared her initial trepidation during a conversation with her husband on the Goop podcast in September 2022 saying at the time, ‘From day one, really treat them as your kid. Meaning, don't have trepidation because they're not yours and you don't have jurisdiction. It's like, no, be your full self as a parent with all the love and all the acceptance and all the boundaries, right? I just wish I had done that earlier.’
Later in the interview, Brad agreed that Gwyneth had thrived as a stepmum saying, ‘My kids absolutely, I mean, you have a relationship with them outside of me. You talk to them all the time. They come to you for advice all the time. They rely on you.’
The American Horror Story creator also opened up about becoming a stepparent himself to Apple and Moses saying, ‘I think you have to define yourself as a stepparent the way you define yourself as a parent. Who am I in terms of archetype dad? For me, that just means providing stability and guidance and a sense of boundaries for the household and the family.
‘This is who we are and what we do, and pulling people back into the boundaries when they step out of them and just try to be a guide to them from my experience and my wisdom.
He continued, ‘They have a great dad, right? The great thing is I don't have to be their dad. Their dad's a lot more fun than I am, and he loves them and spends time with them and all that stuff, and so the great thing is I don't have to be their dad. I'm not trying to replace their dad, but I am a dad to them... Fundamentally I love them like they're mine, because they are.’