As a mother of pre-teens, I know first-hand that the online world can be a wonderful, but scary place. My children are aged ten, eight and six, and one of the things Tom and I are acutely aware of is, we can’t completely bubble wrap them. That’s why, for our children, we wanted to start the conversation early, so talking about online safety has always been a big part of their childhood.
But now the kids are back at school, naturally, first phone conversations are more likely to crop up - as they want to chat to their mates outside of school time too.
That’s why it’s reassuring to see apps like Snapchat leading the way in developing tools to support parents in opening up the conversation around online safety with their children.
New research from Snapchat’s Digital Wellbeing Index shows that while nearly half (44%) of parents regularly check in with their teen about their online activities, a fifth (21%) of parents are unsure about how to monitor their children’s online activities.
Nearly two thirds (62%) of teens aged between 13 and 17 spoke with someone or sought help after experiencing an online risk, an increase of 6 percentage points compared to last year. However, teens were found to be less likely to tell their parents about more serious online risks. To me, this shows just how important it is to proactively speak about these topics with teens to create an open and safe environment.
Following the research, Snapchat has launched a new Parent Guide developed in partnership with Childnet, the internet safety charity, to help parents navigate online safety with their teens. Snapchat’s minimum age limit is thirteen, so although my children aren’t old enough to sign up yet, it’s really encouraging to know that all this focus and care has been put into making Snapchat a safer space for teenagers.
Tom and I don’t use our phones at the dinner table, because there’s nothing worse than trying to talk to someone and they’re just staring at a screen.
A big part of teaching our children about online safety is creating good habits and modelling positive behaviour. Tom and I don’t use our phones at the dinner table, because there’s nothing worse than trying to talk to someone and they’re just staring at a screen. But while it’s good to have boundaries, it’s also important to let teens have time online or use the same apps as their friends, so they don’t feel left out. As parents, it’s not about saying ‘no, you can’t use that’, it’s about allowing it to be part of the conversation and working out how they can use them in a safer way. If you don’t allow them to be online until they’re much older, it could create a scenario where it’s like they’ve been let loose with the sweetie jar.
For example, my son Buzz, who is ten, borrowed my phone last night to video call his friends. I find that lovely, as it reminds me of Tom and I when we were thirteen. We would spend an hour on the phone to each other every night on the landline in the hallway. Messaging platforms and apps feel like the next stage of that, as they allow teenagers to communicate with each other in a fun and friendly community.
I grew up in an age where the internet was a new thing. It was a lot slower, and you didn’t have access to everything in the palm of your hand like teens do now, but it came with its own dangers. The sort of things we had to watch out for were not meeting strangers online and avoiding being catfished.
Things have moved on a lot since then, but there are still times when, like any parent, I feel anxious about when my kids will be old enough to be online. Everything is accessible at the click of a button, and inappropriate content is always a worry.
Snapchat filters and moderates its content to make sure it is age appropriate, before it can be recommended to a wide audience. But search engines, though, are a different story. It’s scary to think that they can type a word in, and it can go anywhere – and often shows the more extreme versions of things.
That’s why it’s crucial to have open channels of communication about online safety with your children. Doing so means that if they do see something that’s inappropriate, they’re more likely to take themselves away from their screen, tell an adult, and talk about why it troubled them. How you set the tone for these conversations is important. If you go in heavy-handed, then your child might not talk to you when something happens online.
The more open dialogue you create between you and your teen, the better. Practise the same approach with the parenting tools on apps - like Snapchat’s Family Centre - that allows you to see who your teens are talking to, without seeing the contents of their conversations. Talk to your children about what the tools are and why they’re there, because then you won’t feel like you’re snooping on your child when you monitor who they’re talking to.
We can really demonise the online world and only see the dangers – and of course, it’s important to recognise the harmful side. It’s the younger generation’s version of stranger danger. But so much is being done to help us be online more safely. The internet can be an amazing place if you use it wisely.
You can view Snapchat's new parent's guide to online safety 'SnapSavvy' HERE.