If Drake Was On Love Island, He’d Definitely Be That Guy

Remember when we all thought Drake was the Nice Guy of Hip-Hop? Those were the days. He was the chart-friendly pro-collaboration cool guy with a deep rooted love for Celine Dion and his mum. Mr OVO quickly became synonymous with 90 percent of music heard and referenced in clubs/bars/radios/Spotify playlists/shop floors/Instgram captions. In short, he Ed Sheeran-ed us.

But since hearing that he stood comedian Tiffany Haddish up on a date, we can't help but construct a very different image of our dear Aubrey (that's his real name, btw). An image that - we hate to say it - wouldn't go amiss in the current sub-par Love Island line up.

Tiffany was recently a guest on Jada Pinkett-Smith's Red Table Talk seriesand conversation turned to her dating life. While she was explaining that she doesn't get time to date, she did mention that when the opportunity does arise, she's pretty invested in it.

'I would like to date', Tiffany explained. 'I really don’t have a lot of time for it, but when somebody asks me out on a date that I’m interested in and like hanging out with, I will clear the schedule. I will make some time'. She revealed that Drake had asked her out after having in his Nice For What video.

She, of course, said yes and so the pre-date preparation began. 'Like shoot, I go get my moustache waxed, get my armpits waxed, got me a nice little dress', Tiffany said. The #relatable bells are ringing loud for us all right now, I'm sure. But alas, the date that Tiffany had prepped so vigariously for did not go to plan for what, on the surface, definitely feels like a typical 'sorry I'm washing my hair' kind of move.

Tiffany continued the story: 'Then I'm like, "So what time are we heading out? Are you sending a car, like where we going?" And then he's like, 'Oh man, my bad, family emergency. I'm in Canada right now.' No, I can't roll my eyes hard enough either.

What are you playing at Drake? For all that there may well have been a family emergency (We're not monsters. We totally understand that stuff comes up... sometimes), the echoes of every instance an idiot man has found himself on the back foot after having forgotten asking you out and then had to scramble for a suitable excuse are catapulting around all our heads right now.

Tiffany's response to the matter was brilliant, of course. She told Jada: 'I was like, ‘Okay. Okay! I could have made $1,000,000 today, but I was trying to see what that D do. But all right!'.

Don't go wasting Tiffany's time, Drake. We'd rather not categorise you with the Wes' and Alexs of the Love Island universe. We are not here for the mediocre excuses nor the faux-forgetfulness of this rubbish relationship etiquette. Moral of the story: we're not waxing our moustaches for Drake any time soon.

MORE: These Love Island Memes Are More Entertaining Than The Show Right Now

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