Look, we get it. Even the rich and famous have struggled in lockdown. Most celebrities - actors, singers, athletes - have built lives around things that simply haven't existed for almost twelve months. Sets of films and TV shows have been shut down, stadiums have lain empty. No red carpets or premieres or parties. And yet, you've still got to pay the mortgage.
We truly understand that you have to get creative in pursuing other sources of income. But still, we have been left shaken by the new advert from Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis.
The gorgeous and talented acting couple are seen in a series of scenes in which Ashton catches Mila eating his Cheetos, a crisp that it not hugely popular in this country thanks to the predominance of the inferior Wotsit. Her response? 'It wasn't me.' The conceit is based around the 21st anniversary of the iconic alibi hit, by Shaggy, which encourages men to try to deflect blame over infidelity with a simple, insistent lie.
'But I caught you at the counter!' says Ashton.
'It wasn't me,' replies Mila, half-heartedly.
'Saw you snacking on the sofa!' he retorts.
'It wasn't me.' But it is you, Mila. You've been caught orange-handed.
We're not quite sure why we have responded so violently and horribly to this advert. It's not the song. While we abhor the message of gaslighting that it encouraged at the turn of the millennium, we have a soft spot for it and the singer behind it. It's catchy! And yet, we do not like this advert. Perhaps it's because we simply thought more of its stars. Mila Kunis is a goddess of a woman. She has that amazing and rare blend of commercial approachability and terrifying beauty. She starred in slapstick caper Bad Moms AND Oscar-winning psychological drama Black Swan, for God's sake. Why is she taking big bucks to slather her fingers in orange dust? Are you doing this of your own free will, Mila? Blink once for yes, twice for no.
Wait, are we being Punk'd?
What we will say is that we approve of anyone who's doing what needs to be done to support themselves and their families. We get that it's good clean fun and that we're not supposed to take it seriously. We can even put aside our mania for a moment to compliment the fact that Ashton is seen pottering busily around while Mila relaxes with her savoury delights - we love a man who leaves us alone. But honestly, it gives us cause to shudder.
Then again, suddenly we want to watch the advert again.
And also, we wouldn't mind a bag of Cheetos right now.
Damn. Advertising really works, doesn't it?
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