Once upon a time, before celebrities migrated over to the 'gram as their social media sharing channel of choice, they used to live out their lives solely on Twitter. Usually, they did so without social media managers, or a publicist advising them that, maybe, it isn't the best idea to send that tweet after all. And while we still see the occasional spat, there was something so delicious about the pettiness of an old school messy tweet.
Do you remember when Kim Kardashian tweeted 'kowabunga dudettes. i'm so pumped to be on this surfing kick. who else surfs out there? gnarly day in the h2o. ridin waves!'
Well, maybe you don't, because it was 11 years ago, but this was the kind of shit we'd see from celebrities ALL THE TIME. Instead of trying to sell us something, they were just.... having a laugh, like the rest of us. Making typos, and not stopping to draft everything immaculately in their iPhone notes, or pass it by a whole team of experts.
This meant there was iconic feuds, which you wouldn't dream of seeing these days. (If we exclude the 2019 Coleen Rooney and Rebekah Vardy WAG wars, and Jedward recently coming for Simon Cowell, but these truly are outliers.) We were reminded of this when YouTuber Jack Edwards tweeted yesterday that he missed celebrities being wild on Twitter, adding, 'remember when you'd open your Timeline to see Zayn Malik calling Max from The Wanted "chlamydia boy", Charlie Sheen beefing Rihanna, or Lorde saying Diplo had a tiny penis? Bring back that era!'
Right, OK, if you need reminders.... As the UK's most popular young boybands, One Direction and The Wanted were unstandable never best of mates back in the day, and used to be quite bitchy towards each other. Charlie Sheen got pissed off at Rihanna because she reportedly snubbed him at a restaurant (and she then changed her header pic to include Charlie - iconic). And Lorde only mentioned Diplo's penis because he posted a link to crowdfund a 'booty' for Taylor Swift, so he completely deserved the comment.
Other mentionable feuds include Kim Kardashian v Chloë Grace Moretz (after Chloë criticised her for posting a naked mirror selfie, Kim responded, 'Let's all welcome Chloe to twitter since no one knows who she is'), Adam Levine and Lady Gaga subtweeting each other about the originality of pop music, and Kanye West not seeing the funny side of Jimmy Kimmel spoofing him. And that time when basically everyone - Gaga, John Mayer, Will.i.am - used to get their claws out at gossip writer Perez Hilton.
Most of it was pretty inane stuff - like insults being hurled across a playground by hyperactive children - but when it's fully-grown celebrities fighting, it never stops being funny.
So, yes, we also say bring back that era. The Twitter golden years. Everything's a little bit too serious now. Celebrities hardly say anything, in fear of getting it wrong or being cancelled. Of course, it goes without saying that sometimes stars do mess up, and they are rightly criticised (they're human after all, even if they do have more money than the rest of us). But sometimes things are blown out of proportion, so they'd never dream of having a light-hearted feud with another celeb in under 140 characters.
That, and their accounts are simply too precious now, social media is a huge valuable part of their brand - not just something to keep in touch with their fans or swipe at reality stars. Most celebrities have people to run their accounts for them, so they can reach the most people, make the most money - and not say anything which is going to end up as a bad tabloid headline.
We know publicists will hate us, but hear us out: wouldn't it be nice to see them kicking off a bit on the internet? Nothing properly offensive, just something to lighten the mood a little bit? Come on, we could all do with it now. More so than ever.
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