Last year Tinder introduced verfication badges so actual real life celebrities can use the dating app. And according to reports this week, Leonardo DiCaprio and Hilary Duff are the latest celebs to be found loitering on the app. Apparently Leo's put his name as 'Leonard' as well, just to make sure his identity is kept watertight. As if these celebs don't have enough potential dates at their disposal without taking to Tinder and taking all us normal people's guys and gals. So selfish. Anyway, I thought it would be a nice break from reality to imagine what it would actually be like going on Tinder dates with the celebs that are rumoured to be on there. Conclusion: Dean Gaffney's would be the best date. After Leo, that is.
Expect some kind of yacht where he'll take you below the deck (oo-er) and draw you. Nude. Which you might be thinking is too much for a first date but you'd be wrong, because hell, this is Leo Dicaprio, guys. Jeez. Oh and he'd pay for everything too, even your extra guac.
Apaprently Ed was asked to be the first verified celebrity account on Tinder but he declined. Once you've been on a date (during which he'll have serenaded you with a song about another girl) be prepared for him to write a song about you because you'll have inevitably friend-zoned him a few days later. It's like his thing.
I'm not sure where Hil hangs out but you've got a good chance with her if you look like Ethan Craft. Or Gordo. Gordo was fit.
Dean's a big animal lover (he has a dog called Wellard, see pic) so it's likely you'll visit Battersea Dogs Home to look at all of the cute pups. Whatever you do, don't litter because he used to be a road sweeper and he'll probably call you a 'litter bug'. I'm sorry, I've just realised I wrote this whole thing as if he were actually Robbie Jackson but hey, he's calling himself that on his Tinder prof (see above) so sue me.
He'll be wearing a really wide brimmed hat, so don't wear a really wide rimmed hat too otherwise your really wide brimmed hats will clash when you inevitably snog later on because you both just love wide brimmed hats. The date will be spent on a canal boat trip which is totes romantic and you'll think it's gone really well but he won't text you afterwards, no way, so your heart will be broken but you'll dream about his unnaturally white teeth, blonde hair and orange skin for eternity. The end.
*Disclaimer: some (all) of these Tinder accounts might have been reimagined by our picture desk. But a girl can dream, right? *
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.