Caitlin Cahow, 28, was an Olympic ice hockey player for the USA until an injury sustained in 2012 forced her into retirement. She later came out, saying she wished to ‘pay it forward’ to other athletes and young people looking for role models. Now a law student, she was chosen to attend the Olympics Opening Ceremony in Sochi as one of Obama’s official delegates to the Winter Games, alongside openly gay tennis legend Billie Jean King (who later had to withdraw from the delegation as her mother was ill). As the Olympics draw to a close, we caught up with Caitlin to talk boycotts, role models, and why the fuck people think all sportswomen are lesbians.
**Has coming out changed your career?
**I’m fortunate in many ways that I play a sport that doesn’t get a lot of media attention and I came out after retiring from competing. I felt very guilty that I hadn’t been so supportive of the community while I was playing, that I wasn’t really paying that forward for future generations or for athletes that didn’t have that kind of support and love and acceptance in their own communities. I became more aware of how fortunate I had been and how many around the world were not as fortunate as I am. I needed to be honest about myself, to give hope to people.
**Do you think America is reacting well to gay athletes coming out?
**Some people in the United States had never heard of gay people until people like Billie Jean King and Greg Louganis [American Olympic diver] came out. Those are pivotal moments for us but I think we’ve fallen into a bit of a trap where we’ve made it too much of a black and white issue, and nobody really exists in the world like that. There’s a spectrum and people sort of fall onto it. I think it’s a problem when you expect athletes who you think might be gay or at least not heterosexual to make a public statement about their private life. That’s an extreme double standard. I would never expect Tom Brady to stand up in front of a room full of reports and declare that he’s heterosexual. We need to start changing the dialogue from these blockbuster coming out stories to ‘this is a human question'.
We need to start changing the dialogue from these blockbuster coming out stories to ‘this is a human question’
Before the games started, some people like Stephen Fry called for a boycott. What would you say to someone who suggested attending the Games would be a bad idea?
I wanted every single athlete at the Winter Games to experience and revel in the opportunity the way that I was able to. I don’t care what country you’re from, and boycotting to me just removes that from the table in a way that’s harmful. Not only to the athletes, but also to the nations involved.
I can understand the reasons why people want to boycott and the disagreements and travesties that have historically led to calls for boycott, but if you look at the opportunity ahead of you with a positive light instead of a cynical one, there’s tremendous opportunity here and it’s already starting, look at the conversation that the world has been having about LGBT rights. None of this would have happened had the Olympics not been in Sochi, Russia.
Do you find it extra important that Obama is sending female delegates to Sochi?
People forget what Billie Jean King did for equal pay for female athletes with Title 9 for equal pay for female athletes. Tennis continues to be the only sport with equal pay for female athletes. That was all Billie Jean King. Forty years since Title 9, women still make 75 cents on the dollar compared with their male counterparts. This is a woman who has led the fight for equality at all levels, so the fact that she’s been chosen for the delegation is completely fitting and also a fantastic gesture by the President and also Janet Napolitano, the first woman to hold that position [Secretary of Homeland Security]. It’s a great representation of the American experience.
Did you have any gay role models growing up? Did it help you?
Billie Jean King was the most visible and I could identify with her, but I think most importantly it’s not having those exceptional people, but having those people that you can relate to, so like on sitcoms or any kind of mainstream television. Seeing Will & Grace, which is the first show I can remember having a gay character in the United States, and that blew my mind, that there were gay people being portrayed as normal people on TV.
You said earlier, Tom Brady doesn’t need to come out, so why should people come out? But then there’s always the argument that people need role models.
I don’t expect any athlete to come out, I think each decision is personal. But I think those who do choose to come out give a tremendous gift that they might not even realise. It makes such a big different and not just individual coming out and saying they’re gay, but allies coming out and saying, ‘I support you’. That’s crucial.
Do you think lesbians, bisexual women and transwomen have more challenges to face than gay men?
There’s challenges for everyone in the LGBT community. First off, it’s the trans community. No one understands them and very few people have been willing to engage in dialogue about them. Gay men have a strong history, as fear of violence is prevalent, whereas it’s not a major concern in my experience, or with women I’ve talked to. But I think we have several challenges. Gay men in the media are always ‘fabulous’; well-dressed, well-groomed, artistic, smart, always fun, always the life of the party. Images of lesbians in the media are of masculine women who don’t have the same kind of elevated affinity. They’re always less than women. Granted, gay men and gay women share the misperceptions of being less than their gender because of their sexuality, but women have way more stereotypes and it really bothers me especially with female athletes there’s a presumption that you’re gay out of the gate. That’s one of the reasons I didn’t come out for such a long time – because I didn’t want to live up to the stereotype. It drives me nuts.
Interview by Fiona Byrne
Follow Fiona on Twitter @nycfiona
Pictures: Getty
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.