Brooklyn Beckham Makes A Sandwich On TV, World Is Confused

Constructing meat on meat on carbs does not a chef maketh.

Brooklyn Beckham sandwich video

by Jen Crothers |
Updated on

There’s something about quintessential symbols of Britishness that Americans love. The Queen. Lie-cester Square. And today, we add English Breakfast Sandwiches to that list.

“Social Media Sensation” Brooklyn Beckham, as was his introduction on the Today Show, fried two eggs, patted down some bacon on kitchen roll, explained the concept of cutting a sausage in half and layered it all up on some white bread with a slick of ketchup. Voila. This, allegedly, is an ‘English Breakfast Sandwich’. The presenters went WILD. Over a hangover sandwich.

Even Lorraine Kelly, woman of the people and common sense bellwether felt the second hand awk for him. “Oh the wee soul. He looked all embarrassed,” she mused on her show, empathetic to his plight.

Brooklyn’s shapeshifting career has taken him from a photographer (“Elephants in Kenya. So hard to photograph but incredible to see”) to Insta chef; in his defence, his TV cooking debut doesn’t do him justice. He’s trying, okay?

One look at his grid and it’s obvious he knows his way around a skillet pan. He can do steak! Creamy tomato pasta! Risotto! A giant four-patty burger stacked to the hilt! He can do the basics, and do them well. And that’s what matters, right? He’s even branched out to a cucumber and avocado summer roll or ten.

But back to the English Breakfast Sandwich. The oldest Beckham child told the meaty bread-loving hosts that he got into cooking during lockdown, and that he’s “always loved food”. However, he does not like a runny egg. Especially not a runny egg in an English Breakfast Sandwich.

There were some great insights into Beckhamland too - David loves cooking, his fiance Nicola Peltz films his cooking videos, and that he learned his English Breakfast Sandwich recipe from his Great Grandma. Which is super sweet. SOB.

All is forgiven. Make all the English Breakfast Sandwiches you want, Brooklyn. All of them.

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