The most unlikely dinner guest combination award goes to: Ed Sheeran, Beyoncé and Jay-Z.
After Beyoncé and Ed performed a duet at Stevie Wonder’s tribute concert (which, in itself, wins an award for Most Unlikely Duet), the threesome all went for a slap-up meal and talked about... y’know, life and stuff. Obviously, Beyoncé and Jay-Z going for dinner is pretty normal, but we’re fascinated to know how Ed fared.
After performing, the threesome were seen grabbing a late dinner, and we would pay good money to be a fly on the wall. Good money as in, a solid tenner. Here are some questions we’re asking about the date – which was, surely, just an excuse for Ed to add to his five-million-strong friendship list?
**Who paid? **
We bet Jay-Z paid, quietly chatting to the waiter then laughing boisterously and slipping a 100,000 dollar bill into his hand. Because those exist. That, or Beyoncé paid because she’s a strong independent woman who’s ‘so hood with this’.
One thing we’re prepared to bet our lunches on – Ed didn’t pay. He probably did the thing where he bent his head awkwardly and was all, ‘Oh, no... no... I’ll get this... erm...’, knowing full well that Jay or Bey would leap in.
**What did they have? **
Ed had a hotdog, Jay had a burger, and Bey had a salad. This is based on literally no scientific evidence other than our own conjecture.
What did they talk about?
After discussing how the duet went – ‘Oh I liked the bit where you went sings theatrically’, ‘Oh thanks so much! I really dug your arm movements’ – and how great Stevie Wonder is – ‘Yeah, he’s a legend’, ‘Mm, a total legend’, ‘Yo he’s a legend!’, ‘We’ve both already said that, Jay’ – there would definitely be awkward silences.
I mean, what do you ask Beyoncé? If she’s seen any good movies recently? How her temperature controlled vault containing all the press cuttings of her ever printed is doing?
Probably just draw out chatting about the gig for as long as humanly possible, while eating as quickly as humanly possible.
**Did they tip? **
Incredibly. Just in case anyone found out they’d gone to dinner and wanted to write about it. Lol.
Who did they bitch about?
Jay made a reference to Kanyé at the Grammy’s and Beyoncé was all, ‘Baby, can you not’ and he was all, ‘Look, I’m just joking, it was funny bey-by’ and then Ed said something about Taylor Swift being the devil king sent from Mars to take over the world and it all got a bit dark.
Also, we like to think that, whenever there’s a gap in the conversation, Ed either giggles oddly or whips his guitar out and sings a heartbreaking melody. Or raps. Oh God, please let him and Jay-Z have had a rap battle (we’re almost certain this didn’t happen).
Will they be best friends forever?
No.
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Follow Stevie on Twitter: @5tevieM
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.