The Sochi Winter Games have kicked off and they're pretty awesome so far. If you've spent the last three days out of it/having a life that doesn't involve staring at a TV screen, here are some of the most-talked-about-moments:
Ashley Wagner's bullshit face
American figure skater Ashley Wagner wasn’t very happy when the judges announced that she was only going to get a bronze medal for her efforts in the team competitions. This is how livid she got http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/ashley-wagner-BS.gif
Tucker West’s dad pimping him out
The American luger (soft g, BTW) didn’t fare so well in his race, coming 22nd in his 4th race. But at least his dad is milking his time in the public eye to get him some action. ‘I just want to say to all the young ladies out there, Tucker is very single,' Mr. West told The Today Show back in the US. 'Now he's a little shy, so you have to reach out to him.'
**Julia Lipnitskaia **
At just 15 years old, figure skater Julia wowed the crowds - including Putin - and judges with her performance, helping to get Russia the gold medal.
Jason Brown’s ponytail
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The delightfully dorky USA figure-skater caused a bit of a stir with his ponytail, with viewers unsure as to whether it's beautiful or terrible or so-bad-it's-actually-good. A parody Twitter account was set up in his ponytail’s name. Granted, it’s got fewer than 1000 followers, but it’s the thought of his swishy mane flipping around the rink in tandem with his limbs that counts. He also helped steer the US team into a bronze position with his fourth place performance.
Ireen Wüst
This Dutch speed-skater won the gold in the 3000m challenge. And, extra special that she is, even though she's openly bisexual she still got a ‘cuddle’ off of Putin. We’re still kind of hoping that this was something lost in various filters of translation. ‘He congratulated me and asked if everything was OK in Russia and I congratulated him on [Russian speedskater] Olga Graf, of course, for her third place [also in the 3000m]. He was happy to see me, but then he had to leave again. But I cuddled him,' she added.
Bruno Banani
This Tongan luger changed his name in a bid to win sponsorship for the Winter Games, and now bears the moniker of a German underwear company. Unfortunately, all the gimmicks in the world didn’t help him get past 32nd place in his 4th run. Then again, he only did it because ‘it looked like fun’.
The Jamaican bobsled team
With such a good backstory ahead of even competing in the Winter Games, the Jamaican bobsled team are set to leave the Cool Runnings legacy at the starting blocks. First off, they could only afford to go to Russia thanks to Reddit users stumping up the cash. Yes, this is a crowd-funded expedition. And then, on the way over to Russia, the blades for their bobsled went missing so they couldn’t train. The equipment has since arrived in Sochi and they were so overjoyed at the opening ceremony they started singing a bit of Bob Marley.
Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophwilkinson
Pictures: Getty
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.