The OG recipient of the bizarre Hollywood baby name, Apple Martin is all grown up and has just made her Paris Fashion week debut.
‘I remember when she was born and thinking her parents were stupid for picking that name,’ wrote one astute (and humble) Redditer. ‘I feel like an ancient rotting corpse now seeing her full grown.’
Dressed head-to-toe in Chanel for the house’s SS23 Haute Couture show – an eerie realisation of Karl Lagerfeld’s premonition when she was just four years old that, one day, she would be a Chanel Girl – Apple seems to be taking her role as the next nepo It girl very seriously indeed (in case you need reminding, her parents are actor Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay frontman Chris Martin). And social media commentators have been falling over themselves to predict her future career trajectory.
‘Apple Martin being more interesting to people than the entire Chanel couture show😭,’ tweeted one, with another writing, ‘Twitter gagging over Apple Martin is so cute and so funny that rn we’re so starved of whatever a true it girl is we’re plotting her whole career after one show.’
‘It’s so weird and amazing at the same time that everyone is rooting for Apple Martin as the next fashion it girl,’ said another. ‘Hopefully this is not a newcomer thing. Maybe Apple Martin is indeed the Chosen One. The nepo baby of all nepo babies. The fashion it girl of all fashion it girls.’
And while there was certainly A LOT of chat about how old everyone feels now that baby Appletini (as she’s been affectionately dubbed) is an actual grown up, and some not-so-savoury comparisons between her and othernepo babies of her ilk, it’s Apple’s sultry – or should that be sulky? – expression that has people talking.
This morning, Apple Martin RBF (that’s Resting Bitch Face, for the uninitiated) was a top breakout search term as people itched to identify the precise nonchalance – coupled with her A List credentials – that makes Apple perfect for the job.
And back on reddit, not everyone was quite so enamoured. One user said, ‘She looks like a sulky child with bad eyeliner. I can’t wait until she tells me how important her thoughts are.’
‘I’m just unfollowing all these fashion accounts,’ said another. ‘Like yeah the girls are pretty but DAMN do they look boring and sad.’
It’s nothing new that smouldering and sullen should be synonymous with ‘cool’ – would James Dean have looked half so aloof if he’d been leaning against that wall with a big ol’ smile instead of his iconic glower? Comments like these feel dishearteningly similar to the old, ‘Smile, love!’s’ that haunt every lone woman minding her own business, as if we should all be walking around with an inane grin plastered over our faces.