If you’re anywhere as near of a big Parks And Recs fan as me – or Lena Dunham for that matter – then you’ll have been counting down the days until Amy Poehler’s book Yes Please! comes out.
We had a sneak peek (we promise no spoiler alerts) and can tell you that the book is filled with amazing things – why Amy Poehler is LOLs (even as a child), her take on being part of the Hollywood set, and even a few sex tips. But the thing that’s really stayed with us from the book – and a fair few others by a glace at early reviews – is Amy on how she’s become such a successful career woman.
Amy writes about how much effort she has put in to getting where she is – she’s an SNL alumni, a Golden Globe for Parks And Recreation, a producer and director, oh and soon to be a best-selling novelist. She goes on to explain that those achievements didn’t always come by being nice the whole time. Shocking, we know, considering her most known character Leslie Knope is literally the most pepped-up gal in the world. Imagine T-Swift on Xanax.
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Her words will speak volumes for anyone (read: me, often) that makes hard work of being the nicest one in the office – a continual neck ache from nodding, always doing the coffee run, smiling at even the photocopier, offering to take notes in meeting – even when you’re leading them – and then typing up the notes and sending them out with multiple smiley face emojis at the end. Just me?
But Amy’s not our only ‘being a bitch at work is a-OK’ inspiration this week – we loved Raluca Popescu’s recent piece on her struggles with ’Nice Girl Syndrome’. And who could forget Lois Frankel’s best selling Nice Girls Don’t Get The Corner Office – which was SO popular she released a sequel earlier this year.
In Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, she, too, advices all women to – using the words of another sucessful woman with book Sophia Amoruso – find your ‘Nasty Gal’ side. We’re not saying you don’t need to go completely Ariana Grande diva, but there’s gotta be reason they say what they do about where nice guys finish. Sheryl often advices to ‘fake it ’til you feel it’. But if you're not in to faking it – here’s some tips from Amy and from us to try at work:
Ask For Shit
Not specifically shit, but be sure to ask questions and for help – don’t worry about seeming difficult or worry you may be causing ‘a hassle’. We all need help, even Amy! In the book Amy devotes a special section to thanking her children’s nannies (or her ‘wife’, as she call her curent one). If you don’t have kids, nor a need for nanny, no problem, ask for a colleague’s help – they’re good, too.
Understand Your Value
Hard work equals cold hard cash. Simple. In case you haven't heard yesterday was #equalpayday, so make sure you understand you the worth of your work. Sandberg called it ‘billing like a boy’, we’d just call it getting out what you’ve put in.
Know What You Don’t Want
‘I think we should stop asking people in their twenties what they “want to do” and start asking them what they don’t want to do.’ Amen to that, Amy!
Don’t ALWAYS Be Available
Don’t feel you’re a failure if you don’t answer emails within five minutes, especially if it’s after work hours. In France, there are lawas that allow employees to ignore their bosses’ work emails once they are out of the office and relaxing at home. And the French are wise people – after all, they invented Brie.
Don’t Be Out To Please
Understand that your happiness can come over your colleagues’. You’re busy enough pleasing your mates, you boyfriend, his parents. It’s OK to be a bit competitive. To take from the wise words of Amy again, she says, ‘Sometimes I worry not enough people hate me.’
**Say Goddam NO! **
As that mildly successful chap Steve Jobs said, ‘It’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.’ It’s OK to say firmly (and fairly) that you don’t have time or you can’t do something. But it’s also OK to be polite. In the words of Amy, ‘Saying “yes” doesn’t mean I don’t know how to say no, and saying “please” doesn’t mean I am waiting for permission.’ And, all in all, that explains the name of the book.
Yes Please! is out on Thursday
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Follow Lena on Twitter: @lenadecasparis
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.