Parsley Is For Dinner, Not Your Vagina

Doctors have warned against putting parsley pessaries in place…

Germano Poli / EyeEm

by Sophie Wilkinson |
Updated on

Putting herbs in our vaginal canals wasn’t exactly top of the list, or bottom of the list, of our many weekend plans. But just in case you got the wrong end of the stick (or twig) we feel obliged to let you know that you shouldn’t put parsley in your fanny.

Doctors have issued warnings against the use of ‘parsley inserts’ after a viral article suggested that the herb could be used to kick-start your period.

Some women might have irregular periods due to health issues like PCOS, others might want to get their period to come quickly so it doesn’t coincide with a holiday/festival/dirty weekend/wedding/whatever, and, according to the article, parsley could be one answer to that.

Parsley is an emmenagogue, a substance which increases menstrual flow and can ‘soften the cervix and level out hormones’, according to Marie Claire. In the now-deleted piece, it was recommended that parsley doesn’t have to be eaten to be effective, and: ‘If you’re struggling to find a dish based on parsley, don’t panic – the most effective forms are said to be parsley tea and parsley vaginal inserts.’

A quick glance at ‘parsley vaginal inserts’ on Google has taken us to some dark places, like video tutorials explaining how to carry out a fully herbal home abortion (really, in 2019? We’re having to do this?) And doctors have been explaining exactly why it’s not right to put anything other than medically-approved items into your vagina.

Dr Shazia Malik told The Independent: ‘'There is no evidence of any benefit to a woman of doing this, and clear risk of significant harm as deaths have been reported.

'I would urge women not to insert anything unless they have taken proper medical advice.'

In August 2018, it was reported that a 24-year-old Argentinian woman died after trying to induce a miscarriage using parsley, the Mail Online reports.

Other emmenagogues, our research tell us, include celery, Angelica root, fenugreek seeds, rue (?), papaya, root chicory, aloe vera, licorice, pomegranate, rosemary, sage, marjoram, oregano, cinnamon, chamomile, hyssop and burdock root.

If you’re concocting the ultimate witches’ brew, then of course, go for it, shove it in a cauldron already. But best to keep it out of your pants

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