If you’re anything like me, I am absolutely obsessed with highlighting. Sometimes I’ll admit (but only sometimes) I’ll go overboard with it. It’s always, ‘Just a little bit more’ and then before I know it, I look like a disco ball. But that’s OK. Why? Because I am glowing! I want to be seen from across the road. I want to be spotted in a room full of people. I want to blind people.
Have you ever wished that your vagina could be covered in glitter? Probably not. But, the first (and probably only) vaginal highlighter has arrived ladies. Yes, you read that correctly. Shades of V’s* Very V Luminizer* is now available in Scandinavia and is launching worldwide July 27th 2017. The highlighter will be a whopping £42 for us in the UK.
But why do we need a vaaginal highlighter, you may ask? Well, I'm glad you did. You’ll be over the moon to know that (according to the guys behind Shades of V) the highlighter is in fact good for our vulvas . The Very V Luminizer is pH neutral and contains Vitamin E to prevent darks spots from hair removal – I can hear the ladies who suffer from scars due to ingrown hairs shouting ‘hallelujah.’ Also, has elderflower to soothe the skin and is quick drying. And last of all – the big bang that we have all been waiting for – has a luminous iridescent colour ‘to add some extra prettiness to the V.’ - I know right?
The Scandinavian company offers quite the range of beauty products for our lady gardens. Such as: VV gentle exfoliator, serum, beauty mist, beauty cream and conditioner. It’s surprising that a range like this exists. But also, quite thoughtful because when you think about it, our vaginas live quite a hard life – waxing, periods, sex, birthing. Needless to say, but beauty has reached an all-time high. We are now able to light up our vaginas and give them a great pamper session. I wonder what our ancestors would think…
Ok, this is all total bullshit. We do not need, repeat do not, need to highlight or add extra pretiness to our vaginas. Nor do we need them to look younger or more glittery. Just no. There are currently so many weird products on the market for vagina’s – please stop.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.