How do you usually spend your Saturday night? Maybe it's star-fished on your sofa wearing a onesie with a takeaway en route. Perhaps you're usually out dancing until you pull a muscle and topping off the evening with a meal that heavily features greasy items. Whichever, admittedly neither are the most 'productive', if you like, of options. That's where this, our ultimate guide to pampering, comes in: not only will you be making yourself look even more buff than usual, it's also a mighty productive way to spend your Saturday night. Double win.
So here it is, our guide to reclaiming your Saturday night in the best way possible, which we have even handily co-ordinated with the TV schedule, because we're always thinking of important stuff like that.
Phase 1: The Body Stuff
These are the things that take a little more thinking about and you don't want to be bothering with once the actually-good TV starts, so it’s key to get these bits out of the way. You're looking at a start time of around 7pm so you can get it done whilst absent mindedly watching vintage You’ve Been Framed or The Chase.
Chances are that shaving (if that’s what you’re into) hasn’t been top of your priority list since the cold weather arrived but this has worked in your favour - brace yourself and eschew your razor in favour of the Smooth Care Sensitive Wax Strips, £5.89, Boots.com . By the time Spring rolls around you’ll have beaten those follicles into downy submission.
Brows, essential for a strong brow game, are next. Try the Smooth Care Eyebrow Shapers For Sensitive Skin, £2.49, Boots.com; they’re pre-cut to help you nail the perfect arch. To finish up, use the Precision Grip Straight Tweezers, £3.80, Boots.com to pluck out any strays you missed.
Phase 2: The Masks
Okay it’s now around 7.45pm and The X Factor is imminent. Quickly wash your hair, hop out of the shower and apply the Beautiful Hair Moisture and Nourish Mask for Dry Damaged Hair, £3.50 for 350ml, Boots.com then tie your hair back and let the argan oil sort out the frizz the cold has left you with.
Make sure you've taken your make-up off properly (link to piece) and as the intro music starts (hello, 8pm), smooth on Soap & Glory’s Fab Pore 2-in-1 Facial Pore Purifying Mask Peel, £10 for 30ml, Boots.com, which will help to detox pores and calm any break outs. Sit back and let both masks do their thing whilst you watch the first part of The X Factor, then leg it to the bathroom to wash it all off in the first ad break.
You're doing very well. Now for the Masque Bar Dark Circle Reducer Eye Patches, £9.99 for five sets, Boots.com. These are really soothing on the under-eye area and contain Vitamin A and E to help combat dark circles. Now relax and listen to the dulcet/wailing sounds coming from your TV for the next half an hour. Top tip: keep them in the fridge so that when you come to use them, they're extra cooling. Dreamy.
Phase 3: The Facial Massage
Once you’ve had enough of the eye patches, carefully remove them and rinse off any residue. Now it's time to go all out and treat yourself to a facial massage using the L’Oreal Paris Extraordinary Oil Facial Oil, £19.99 for 30ml, Boots.com. Massaging your face encourages circulation and will help keep your skin looking bright and fresh, and can even help shift toxins, plus it's majorly relaxing.
If you've had enough of The X Factor by now (don't blame you), mute it and follow make-up artist Lisa Eldridge's video on facial massage. If you haven't (still don't blame you) then mute Lisa's video and just copy what she does, otherwise skincare expert Caroline Hirons has an excellent cheat sheet you can read and follow. Do this for as long as you like - the longer the better! - and let it the oil sink in before carrying on with the rest of your skincare routine.
Phase 4: Nail It
How is The X Factor, still on? Time to switch to Netflix, we reckon. Once you've done that and you've ticked off the other phases, you can focus on your nails without worrying about smudging them.
Prep your nails with the 6 Way File and Buffer, £2.50, Boots.com, using the different sides to shape, smooth and buff. If you're feeling extra fancy, use some of the facial oil to moisturise your cuticles. After that, apply the base coat in the Essie Nail Varnish Care Duo Kit, £12.99, Boots.com, use your chosen nail polish shade, and finish with the top coat in the kit. Those nails aren't going to be chipping any time soon.
Phase 5: The End
Kick back, relax and relish the warm, smug feeling that, this week, your Saturday night has been damn productive. Pat on the back for you.
You know what's great? You can order all of this at boots.com or in store today by 8pm and collect free in store from 12pm tomorrow so you don't even have to leave the comfort of your sofa.
Exclusions and geographical exclusions apply, visit www.boots.com/ordertodaycollecttomorrow for details
Like this? You might also be interested in:
The Ultimate Gif Guide To Hiding Your Dark Under-Eye Circles
Follow Chemmie on Twitter @chemsquier
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.