Props to Kylie Jenner for making everyone think she had transplanted someone else’s lips onto her face when, in actuality, she’s just a master lip-artist.
So much props, in fact, that I decided to give it a go and see how easy/hard it would be to boost my fairly modest pout into the Kylie-stratosphere (sorry for referring to my lips as a ‘pout’, I’d run out of synonyms and ‘mouth cushions’ seemed a bit bizarre).
Turns out, it’s actually easier than expected, but the bigger and lighter you go, the more it looks like you’ve had dodgy surgery. As previously stated, I’m not – and in no way pretending to be – a beauty expert, so if I can manage this without too much horror, then you can too. Let’s duckface forever, babes.
It’s worth pointing out that Instagram filters are key here. While the pumped-up face pillows looked really shit under the fluorescent strip lighting of The Debrief office, they really came into their own after a bit of retouching (I think it’s safe to say that Kylie knows how to Photoshop, or maybe she just genuinely doesn’t have any pores or weird spot clusters on her chin).
Read More: This Is What Happened When We Tried All The Poundland Make-Up
**A Pout Turned Up To Around 5.7 On The Kylie Barometer **
We’re talking dark red, and pretty big but not alarmingly so.
How to do it: Foundation and powder over the lips, followed by some extra concealer around your lip line. But obviously go a bit further out because oh my God, someone’s gonna be stretchin’ that lip line to maximum Kylie. As in, you will be. Right now.
Once you’ve made yourself look dead, draw a brown line around your lips but, and here’s the crucial part, start so the line touched your actual lipline but you’re actually drawing around the outside of it, rather than the inside. Does that make sense or do I sound like a child who has just disovered colouring-in books? Cool. Then, keep doing this, outwards, until you’ve got the size you desire.
Now, fill in the corners of your fake mouth with a bit of the liner, and the middle with a dark plum (or brown, if you’re fancy) lipstick. Blob some lighter lip gloss in the middle of the fake lower lips, and the middle of the top lips and tidy up any rogue lines with the liner.
If you’ve got white eye pencil, then pop a tiny amount on the fake cupids bow and the fake middle of the fake bottoms lips, too.
Then filter the shit out of yourself.
**A Pout Turned Up To Approximately 10 ****On The Kylie Barometer ****
**
In which I discover that not everything can handle a 10-Kylied pout, and my face is one of those things.
How to do it: Firstly, some explanation: my bottom lip is angled so I can’t make it any bigger than the 5.7 Kylie pout without it going inside my chin (I’ve got a weird face, OK everyone), but unfortunately I can boost my top lip to Kyliefinity.
This means that when I first attempted this, my top lip essentially disappeared up my own nostrils. The key learning here is to always act in moderation, and take it step-by-step when attempting something this intense.
For the lighter look, go for a light (obviously) matte pink lip crayon all over, with the same technique as above, but just keep going way past the point you’re like ‘obviously I’m going to look like a clown of nightmares’.
Make sure the cupid’s bow is minimal otherwise you’ll look like Widow Twanky, and use a lighter brown, caramel pencil to line the whole thing followed by the classic frosty pink lip gloss to dot the middle of both lips.
I’m wholly unconvinced that this a good look, and that the darker lips look way better, but a rolling stone gathers no moss, as the Chinese say.*
*That proverb doesn’t really apply here but you can insert your own if you like.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.