You might not know it to see me now, with my chipped nails bearing the remnants of the last time I was forced to really make an effort, but there was a time when my nails were fierce 24/7. It also happened to be the single worst time of my life. I hated my job, my friends were one by one moving away, and I was probably about three more bad weeks away from a proper breakdown. My nails, though? Oh yeah, they looked fantastic.
Whether it was the instant gratification of buying a new colour, the therapeutic calm of painting (really painting, with filing and base and polish and topcoat and treatments, can take hours if you need it to), or the fact that at least something in my life was perfect, it meant something. I might have been falling apart, but the three layers of super strength topcoat on my leopard print nails made me feel invincible.
Ru Paul says 'we’re born naked, and the rest is drag' (and, yes I have just come off the back of a Drag Race marathon, what of it?) and I think that really applies not just to dudes who dress up as ladies and lip-sync for their lives, but to anyone who has ever said 'well, screw this' and gone to town on her eyeliner as a reaction to maxing out her overdraft.
So I talked to some awesome, fabulous, perfectly-coiffed, well-dressed babes about their fiercest coping strategies…
Add Lipstick
'Lipstick is armour, it just helps when I go into battle,' says my friend Emma, and if there’s one thing I can get behind, it’s that we are going into battle every single day, whether we’re fighting to be heard in a meeting or for a good table in a rammed bar - makeup is warpaint. Another mate Sophie, who’s been knocked back more than a few times in the search for her dream job, puts on her warpaint when she climbs up on her ‘hire me!’ steed and rides into interview: 'every job interview I have has to be coupled with my best lipstick, otherwise what's the point in anything?'
Well hell, we’ve all been there, right? At least, when you finally give up on ever hearing back from yet another interview you really thought you’d nailed, you know your lipstick looked amazing. Unless it was on your teeth. Best to carry a pocket mirror, yeah?
**Theraputic Dressing **
'When I've had really bad few weeks’ health, putting my leopard print, stompy boots, my eyeliner makes me feel ‘me’ again,' says another mate Amanda.
I don’t think women should have to hide their sadness or paste on a smile and get on with it, but if your life is suddenly shaken up and you can gain comfort from being your own visual press release and get back in touch with who you really are, that’s awesome. It’s great to be vulnerable with the people you care about and trust, but for many people, showing that to the outside world just isn’t an option. Amaia told me that when she needs a boost, she opts for a stunning 70s wrap dress that stands out in her wardrobe as a kick-ass frock, because 'no one is going to dismiss me as a 'girl' when I'm wearing it.'
To me, that’s what the idea of armour and warpaint really boils down to. It’s a self-determination based in the choices and rituals that make us feel like grown up women, pushing aside feelings of powerlessness and using every trick in the book to assert an image that lets us tell our own story. Never underestimate the empowering qualities of a strong pencilled eyebrow, an ass-kicking ankle boot or, of course, that classic red lip.
These are our weapons and our armour. And boy do we know how to use them.
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**Follow Becca on Twitter **@Becca_DP
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.