One Editor Shares Their Journey On Going Grey

‘It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.’ Or so the saying goes. And, in many life situations, it’s true. The anticipation before an event, the work involved in bringing something to fruition – these things are often as important and satisfying as the end result. Going grey, however, is not one of these things. The decision to take the plunge, cancel your regular root touch-ups and move through the process can be an epic test of your inner Wonder Woman. There will be moments where you think: ‘What am I doing? Who am I? Oh my god, I look old/unattractive/ unrecognisable!’ But despite all of this, I can honestly say that going grey was hands-down the best hair-related decision I ever made. It also served as a marker of some far deeper changes. A new beginning, a difficult middle bit and finally – boom! – you’ve crossed over into a newly minted version of you.

I had been battling with grey hairs since my early-thirties. Salon appointments every eight weeks, with messy weekly touch-ups in my bathroom on a Sunday night, it was a constant battle to conceal the reality of a Morticia Adams-style streak steadily emerging in the front portion of my hair. A growing realisation of the futility of it all, coupled with a feeling of wanting to change things up, finally led me to a consultation with Josh Wood, the king of colour and grey hair magic maker. After a part-chat, part-therapy session with Josh, we agreed on a plan of allowing the white at the front to come through while leaving it dark at the back. The result was a super-chic, dramatic contrasting look and, for a while, I loved it.

But, when I landed a new job as editor of a fashion magazine, I felt the need for a new look to match my new role. And so we went full bleach with a silver glaze resulting in a kind of ‘faux grey’, bestowing my short hair with the requisite amount of soft power messaging and, aside from my teenage son saying I looked like a BTEC Judi Dench, it was the perfect hair for a new version of me. A woman in control, spinning plates and on top of things, or at least projecting that to the outside world, even when inside I sometimes felt the opposite.

Two years later, I left my job and everything changed. Without the daily demands of meetings and a minutely mapped-out diary, I decided to grow my hair out, both the length and colour, to just see what would happen – a decision that lots of us made in 2020. There were days when I felt truly excited and others when, frankly, I had no idea who I was any more. My hair and I both experienced a roller coaster of emotions and more than a few crises-of-faith moments along the way.

But, when I finally gave myself permission to relax, the going grey process seemed to rapidly speed up. A coincidence, perhaps, but a visible one, my hair turning almost uniformly white across the front. The back remained more stubbornly dark but, actually, much like only needing to dress from the waist up for a Zoom call, it doesn’t really matter what the back of your head looks like, since mostly you are only viewed from the front. It also became just long enough to tie back which, after a decade of short hair, felt like a huge achievement. I could see the new version of myself finally emerging. Like me, but different.

Another thing I noticed around this time was compliments on how good my skin looked. As well as having less stress in my life, I think my hair played a big part in my skin suddenly looking better than it had in years. As we age, our skin loses collagen and that rosy bloom of youth, so it makes sense that we need a softer focus lens around it. Far from making me look older, the new hair served as kind of instant ‘good light’ moment.

As for the idea that going grey can render you invisible, it’s not a thing. I’ve had more people mention my hair in the past year than ever before. Women will stop me in the street and say, ‘I’m thinking of doing it, how long did it take?’ In terms of external validation, I’ve always believed so much of that is wrapped up in how you feel and what you project. Confidence really is the most attractive thing in a person and, if you’re feeling invisible, then people sense it. It doesn’t matter what colour your hair is.

A year after I’d left my job, I ventured back to Josh Wood. After a tweak by colourist Mel to subtly blend a few still-dark areas, suddenly there I was with silver, shoulder- length hair. A new me. On the life front, I’m still on the journey, as there hasn’t been a moment when I’ve felt everything is neat and tidy. Life isn’t like that but, happily, hair is. So, whether you’re thinking of going grey, or changing things up, or you’re in that difficult middle bit: keep going! You won’t regret it, I promise.

SHOP: The Silver Stars

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