The perfect fake-tan is a bit of an enigma - I want it to exist so badly, but the recurring orange palms, streaky legs and tears of frustration when you wake up in the morning (we've all been there) suggests it doesn't. To make matters worse, there's always that one mate who rocks a perfect bronze colour all year round. So. Unfair.
Help is here, though, in the form of the definitive guide to fake tan complete with a quiz so you can pick you perfect fake tan match and avoid looking like a TOWIE extra this summer. Before that, though, we got fake tanning pro James Read to give us his top tip to stop you getting those annoying brown dots:
'Rub an ice cube over the face and front of your legs, this will seal your pores and stop your tan from blocking them.'
Genius. Now you've got the technique down, it's time for our tanning quiz. Ready, set, go-lden.
1. How much time do you have until you need to be tanned to perfection?
a) I forgot to tan and I'm going out in a few hours - I need it now!
b) I have all the time in the world, I just want a natural glow
c) I've got a few days so I can layer it until I'm the shade I want
2. How's your bank balance looking?
a) Pretty flush, tbh - I just got paid and I'm willing to splash out
b) Not bad, I'm feeling a little spendy
c) I can barely afford to eat, it needs to be as cheap as possible, please
3. How good are you at applying fake tan?
a) Alright, but I always end up looking a little patchy
b) I end up looking streakier than bacon. I need something idiot-proof
c) I just want to whack it on and not have to think about the application
4. What formula do you prefer?
a) Luxury mousse
b) Cream
c) Spray
5. What are you tanning for?
a) A big-deal event; I want maximum tan without looking OTT
b) I just want a subtle glow that's work appropriate
c) I need a pre-holiday base tan
*Mostly A's: *St Tropez Express Bronze Mousse, £33 is the one for you. A big-event means you want your fake tan to look on point so you're happy to spend a little more this time. Plus, it doesn't matter if you've only remembered to tan at the last minute; this develops in within an hour.
Mostly B's:**** You can't be bothered to faff around with full-on fake tan so give Jame's Read Day Tan Body, £24.50 a go for an everyday bronzy look with no fuss. He even makes one especially for the face (Face Day Tan, £22) if you're not up for going below the shoulders just yet.
Mostly C's:**** A light, but buildable, base tan is what you're after with minimal effort. Just mist yourself with L'Oreal Paris' Sublime Bronze Spray, £10.33, starting with the face and working down the body; no rubbing or smudging required. Make sure you get into a (non-running) shower first though so your walls stay tan-free.
READ MORE: Best Fake Tan For Pale Skin