The idea that wearing someone else’s hair makes me feel more confident than styling my own is a truth I’ve been grappling with. For years, I’ve relied on wigs to create the version of myself I feel most comfortable showing to the world. This obsession with constantly altering my look has left me with a distorted perception of my face - to the point that without a wig, I just don’t feel like myself. It feels odd to write that down.
Let me explain. I knew something was wrong when I turned down a party invite because I had braids. The thought of going out with my forehead fully exposed made me feel uneasy. Wigs allow you to pick and choose where your hairline lies and as I experimented with different styles, I found myself pulling the wigs further and further forwards in a bid to make my forehead look smaller.
For me and many Black women, wigs are about more than the aesthetics of a hairstyle - they also serve as a practical, time-saving solution. Styling my natural Afro hair requires time, care and patience - it's a process that can't be rushed (my hair health depends on it) and it's often a struggle to factor into a fast-paced working week. And curly hair is fragile. Protective styles like wigs, braids and weaves help preserve its health. Once I realised (and moreover experienced) the myriad benefits offered by wigs, I was hooked. As soon as I'd reeled in all the compliments I could from one, I was on to the next. But you can have too much of a good thing.
Using wigs back-to-back meant I was gradually pulling my hairline further forward and before I knew it, it was months since I had seen my face staring back at me from the mirror in its entirety. Coupled with losing my edges with each install, the rare occasions when I did catch a glimpse of my full face left me genuinely shocked. ‘What do you mean this is my actual head?’. Jump scare.
(wig versus natural hair)
Dr. Patricia Britto, Educational Psychologist, says that for some individuals, frequently altering their appearance like this can lead to cognitive dissonance, whereby they struggle to reconcile their natural look with the persona they relate more closely to their chosen look. In my case, this phenomenon was all too apparent. I couldn't relate to the no-wig version of me staring back from the mirror because I felt more like myself when the lace was there.
‘This phenomenon is linked to self-perception theory, which suggests that some people develop beliefs about themselves based on their behaviour. If someone only sees themselves in a heavily modified state, they may start to believe their unaltered self is less acceptable,’ Dr Britto explains.
I don’t stand alone in this struggle. Jada Langola-Walter, Grazia’s Social Media Assistant, says, ‘I've always tied my beauty to my hair. I love how versatile my hair can be and I constantly experiment with new styles.’ She told me she has been known to cancel events or pretend to be sick just to avoid going out without her hair done. ‘I started realising that changing my hair so frequently was making me dependent on it, to the extent that I was beginning to dislike my actual face,' says Langola-Walter, 'I never took the time to examine or appreciate what it really looked like - my focus was always on my hair and subconsciously on meeting and maintaining an unrealistic beauty standard within my own community.’
That ‘standard’ being the UK Black Girl aesthetic, a beauty ideal that is prevalent on TikTok and characterised by long wigs, soft glam make-up and fluffy lashes. Beautiful it may be, but it's not an easily attainable everyday look. Beauty trends like this are so deeply rooted in Eurocentric standards that they can prevent Black women from defining beauty on their own terms. And as aware of this as I am, I'm not immune to the pressures imposed by the popularity these hashtag-friendly hair and beauty ideals. Even today, straying too far from this look makes me feel less desirable and unworthy of certain spaces - the space at that party for example. RSVP declined.
One TikToker, @marygraceolu, made the conscious decision to stop wearing wigs and straight styles for this very reason. She explained to her followers, ‘I was conforming to a certain aesthetic and standard - I wanted to branch out and explore other ways my Black beauty could be expressed.’
Dr. Britto says, ‘society has long upheld Eurocentric beauty standards, influencing perceptions of attractiveness and acceptability. [The Perception Institute {href='https://perception.org/goodhair/results/' target='_blank' rel='noreferrer noopener nofollow'}) found that explicit and implicit biases against natural Black hair still exist, affecting how Black women are perceived in professional and social settings. These biases explain why some women may feel more confident wearing wigs or straightened styles in specific environments.’
It’s important at this point to note that frequently changing hairstyles does not automatically mean someone is conforming to a specific set of beauty standards out of insecurity. There's so much fun to be found in experimenting. But for those of us struggling with self-acceptance, Dr. Britto advises taking a thoughtful approach to beauty and self-expression. 'Take time to reflect on your motivations,' she advises, 'ensure that your style choices stem from joy rather than the need for external validation.'
Will I stop wearing wigs? No, because I like the look of them. As for their impact on my sense of self, it's something I'll likely always struggle with, but importantly it's something that I am aware of and that I can make sense of. Recently I've found comfort and peace in getting to know my natural state and embracing the parts I find ‘ugly.’ Maybe one day wearing wigs will be about joy and nothing else. Until then I just have to remind myself that it's really not that deep - my forehead, that is - I've just got to live with it.
Renee Washington, Grazia's digital fashion and beauty assistant, lives online. With a penchant for wispy lashes and streetwear, she writes about the worlds of fashion and beauty from the viewpoint of the modern fashion girlie..