I wear lipstick all the time, and am sick of looking like I'm wearing badly applied lip liner (and nothing else) two hours, and three meals, later.
When you put lipstick on in the morning while simultaneously running to work and crying because you're late, you don't want to be re-applying it every 60 minutes because that's a pain in the arse and you're a busy woman who needs to be places and text people and drink things.
So stop wasting your money on lipstick that leaps off your face the moment you even consider looking at a sandwich, and fork out for one of these badboys. Because even the ones that couldn't make it the full 12 hours still count as badboys.
They all put up an excellent fight - clinging to my lips like a child clings to literally anything you waggle in their faces - and stayed impressively strong in the face of countless water bottles, apples, muffins, a lunch at Google, a personal training session, and a ten minute comedy set in North London (which went really badly, but at least the lipstick looked good). I should point out that I have weird hobbies outside of work.
From MAC to Maybelline, behold the Jean Claude Van Damme's of the lipstick world - but which will last the longest?
Price: £18
Feel: It tasted like sweets, felt all creamy and made my lips want to hang out in swanky restaurants dressed in furs telling other lips to 'call me'.
Time it lasted until: 3pm
Summary: This put up a worthy fight, especially around the 10am mark when I pushed the poor bastard to the limit by eating breakfast and lunch back-to-back. By 1pm, the pigment was still visible, but I wanted to re-apply because it looked like, y'know, I needed to re-apply.
**Price: **£4.99
**Feel: **Not as paint-y as you'd think, but you do need to apply the moisturising balm stick thing (technical term) a couple of times throughout the day otherwise your lips could fall off.
**Time it lasted until: **I went to bed at half past midnight and it was still looking great.
**Summary: **Possibly my favourite of the bunch, this survived a man telling me to 'PUT YOUR ARSE DOWN, THROW THE BEANBAG AND PULL IT BACK' for half an hour. And roughly fourteen gallons of sweat. I also had a shower post-gym, which barely affected the lipstick but smeared the rest of my makeup so I looked like a cartoon girl panda. But one with abs that burn so hard I still can't bend.
**Price: **£10.99
Feel: I WILL LITERALLY NEVER LEAVE YOUR LIPS THIS IS YOU FOR THE REST OF TIME. Also a bit dry. But you immediately know that this lipstick is going nowhere, babeh.
Time it lasted until: Scraped it off at midnight, but probably would have stayed on until 2050.
Summary: If you want lipstick that won't budge, then this is your man/lipstick/manlipstick. Only issue is, that it does feel like paint - so applying the moisturising stick every couple of hours is a must. Bit annoying if you're into the matte look (as I am) but definitely not annoying in the sense that I could get catapulted into space and snog the moon and still have great lips.
Price: £8.99
Feel: Sort of paint-y, sort of lipstick-y. Feels like it's going to stay on - which is reassuring.
Time it lasted until: 11pm, when I took my makeup off.
**Summary: **Good, solid, no-nonsense lipstick that didn't move even after I went to Wetherspoons for lunch. Which, for some reason, I feel should have destroyed it (see Google lunch, above). Also, walked around with my scarf over my face because it was so goddamn cold, and none of it came off on my scarf. Plus, I didn't think to use the moisturiser stick again because my lips didn't really feel that dry. Absolute win for Maybelline here.
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Follow Stevie on Twitter: @5tevieM
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.